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Riku's picture

You know what would be nice?

Having a mother who cared about me.

You know what? She could be an overprotective asshole who gives me an insane curfew and grounds me over petty shit. At least I'd know that she -cared-. I'd prefer that to this.

SHE wanted a new car, so she got a new car. Here I am, borderline eating disorder and halfway insane, and she has a brand-fucking-new car that she's just going to turn into scrap metal anyway. You know how that makes me feel? With the amount of money she put into that thing, she could have gotten a used one and used the leftover to pay for my surgery. I mean, it's been a year now, but still. It's how I felt a year ago, and it's how I feel now. Knowing that she -still- doesn't care enough to help me out -at all- doesn't make me feel any better. She doesn't even try.

But you know what? I'm not obligated to be there for her either. You know what else? If she were to come to me needing something in twenty years, I'll do more for her than she would've done for me. I'm better than her.

And you know, she wouldn't appreciate it at all. And it'd kill me. But I'd help her anyway.

And when I have kids, and they need something, I'LL HELP THEM TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY, not dismiss them immediately. And if something is important to them I'LL LISTEN TO THEM. AND if I got in a divorce I wouldn't move ACROSS THE COUNTRY and completely fail to listen to my kid who for years has been literally BEGGING me to move closer to her sibling or let her go so she could live with said sibling for YEARS. And I wouldn't be a delusional lying bitch either.

But I mean, if I had kids and got in a divorce, I'd stay close enough that both of us could see the kids frequently. Why? Because I'm NOT A COMPLETE FUCKING MORON.

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Me? Spiteful? Never.