Fuck you...

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

I'm not even home an hour and already you're in my head and hurting me...making me cry. Fuck you and all the pain you cause me....and all the drama. I just want to forget your name and face. and all the memories.

I'm back from camping and seeing my granda. He's not doing well...and probably won't be around much longer. And I'm crying. This may just be the last time I see him. And it hurts so much.

I was suppose to go to Cali for a week in september to visit a friend. Who is also and ex. The only one who doesn't make me want to scream and kill something. She's a good friend. But that won't happen due to lack of money til oct/nov. And that's killing me. Nothing ever goes out the way I want it to.

Going on road trips hurts...even memories are attatched to that of Amy and I....and that's killing me too. Around my family I have to smile and pretend I'm all right. And I'm not. Fuck the memories. I just want to forget. Fuck my heart and fuck love. At this point it's almost more stressful....I just want to not have anything to worry about and no stress. I deserve that after everything I have fucking gone through this summer. Fuck you summer and fuck you heart....fuck everything anymore.

Comments

jeff's picture

Hmm...

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"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

elph's picture

Sometimes I Fantasize...

...how great it would be if I could have been born into this so-much-more-accepting world ~15 years ago.

Yeah... the fantasy remains, but this piece goes a long way towards dimming it :(