Happy birthday to me...

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

I spent the whole weekend camping. I just got back yesterday. I had such a great time. It was at this Music Fest with a family friend. She invited me to go and so I went with her and her son. I met a ton of really nice people and had a really good time. I feel sooooo much better and less stressed. I’m so much happier. I laughed a lot and had a good time.

I had a few drinks….rum and coke….best drink ever. I got to have a few of those. No, I didn’t get shitfaced, but I had about 2 drinks of the rum and coke and got slightly tipsy. To the point I really couldn’t walk straight. According to Kacie (the family friend) I’m adorable when I’m drunk….I just noticed I got really talkative and I laughed at a whole lot. Even things that weren’t really that funny…ah well. It was fun….I got offered pot more times than I could count. Didn’t smoke any, but now I wish I had. And it’s not like I can do it here….oh well. Maybe next year.

It was weird camping on my birthday. Kacie bought me a cake, so we had cake and stuff. But I’m not used to not having Amy around…or any sort of partner around for my birthday. Which would have been Amy, but yeah. During the day it was good. Then I got left on my own at night…and it was ok for awhile. I ended up sitting in the field we were in and staring at the stars. It was sooooo clear. It was awesome. I wish I could have taken pictures. But I ended up crying and shit. Not so much fun, but then I talked to Haylee a little, and she made me feel a little better. She wasn’t home, so we didn’t talk for awhile since she was on her cell phone. She was suppose to call back later, but I was tired and went to bed, and with her….when she says she’ll call back. It doesn’t happen. I love her to death, but sometimes…things that she does frustrate me. But I guess that happens.

It’s weird not even hearing anything from Amy….I mean…the last time we weren’t together for my birthday she had her mom bring he to my house and she brought me coffee. Not this year…I was the one who said not to contact me….and it was hard, but I’m doing what I need to continue to heal. As much has it sucks….but it’s better in the end for me. And that’s what I’m focused on. Me….I just wish things hadn’t ended so bad. Nothing can change it now. And I’m not going to think about it or I’ll get sad.