I want to destroy the world at times

AoiYumi's picture

Sometimes I can be a incredibly destructive human in the sense that I damage people psychologically. I do it this way because it leaves a mark for a long time, and when I'm hurt I use my knowledge to hurt people by breaking their hearts as mine has been broken in the past. I have heard that the best warriors attack the heart, and over the years I've earned how to attack peoples hearts.

This evening while I was out with my girlfriend, some guys told her she should lose some weight. I wanted to beat the shit out of them. I wanted to psychologically torment them, beat them, and leave them with scars on their faces that would last a lifetime so that they'd never forget how I imasculated them, humiliated them, and broke them. I hoped that my voice would ring through their ears until the day they died. I can be quite cruel and morbid in my mind at times.

My idea of the ultimate heroine is a woman that anally rapes rapists, and cruel men. I secretly want to be a vigilante that commits these acts against the fucking assholes I feel deserve it. Perhaps not anally rape all of them, but destroy them psychologically. My father has this tendency. He is the most ingenious psychologist and he uses his skill to help and disable people. I fear I have his negative tendencies as well as his positive ones as well.

Comments

lonewolf678's picture

hmm

i can see what you mean. but is it really up to you to decide what someone deserves? sure i'm guilty of having moribid fantasies of destroying the people who have hurt me, but i move on. it's not good to dwell on such thoughts. you really shouldn't get revenge by emotionally torturing people because then you'd be just like the people who hurt you. and also you shouldn't give up on humanity. there are still many good people on this earth you just have to look.
i hope my comment helps.

AoiYumi's picture

Fuck off.

Fuck off.

AoiYumi's picture

Fuck off.

Fuck off.

lonewolf678's picture

well...

i tried.

AoiYumi's picture

thanks dr. phil hahaha. But

thanks dr. phil hahaha. But you are quite egotistical to think you can help anyone on such a anonymous site.

Dracofangxxx's picture

Oooh, hello!

You remind me of myself when I get angry.
-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

AoiYumi's picture

exactly, I was angry. At

exactly, I was angry. At least you don't waste your energy.

jeff's picture

Eh...

If things like this are going to set you off, you're really messing up your own life more than other people's (thankfully). I mean, this person made some comment and probably doesn't even remember it, but you're still stewing about it, so I'm not sure how you're not the one being destroyed psychologically here.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

AoiYumi's picture

Dear jeff, you have always

Dear jeff,

you have always kind of pissed me off. I've been on this site since I was 12 in many user names. I don't really need to preserve myself actually. But I want to say, keep your uneducated opinions to yourself.

Perhaps you should "Preserve" your own psychology and not "stew" about mine.

Courtney

jeff's picture

Eh...

It's kind of strange to post things on a site where people comment (and on a site where that's sort of the whole point), if you don't want people to comment, but whatever. I will try to remember to avoid commenting on yours in the future.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

AoiYumi's picture

No, I don't mind comments.

No, I don't mind comments. I just don't like uneducated comments.

jeff's picture

Hehe...

Oh well, I re-read it, and I still agree with it. hehe.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

AoiYumi's picture

but still uneducated.

but still uneducated.

AoiYumi's picture

Dear jeff, I believe that

Dear jeff,

I believe that you are more concerned with your own ego than you are about anybodies psychology. I have read your replies over many years and it seems that you are more concerned with how you feel about others issues than the reality of what the issues really are. I used to wonder what is wrong with you. But now I really don't care. To me you aren't real. You are not tangible in any way. The internet is a beautiful thing. it makes the make belief believable. Who is to say that I am real? Do you see me? Am i tangible? Then why do I worry you so? You waste your energy on someone that doe not exist.

AoiYumi's picture

:P

:P