If I hand you my heart and a knife, will you cut me? Shred my heart to pieces? Or would you throw the knife away?
If I tell you I'm going to leave...would you beg me to stay? Or would you let me walk away?
I need money...I need out of Lakewood, out of washington....I need away from here. Everything is tainted with memories that I can't erase. It's driving me mad. I thought switching rooms would help, and it has. But staying in the house, doesn't help. There are still memories everywhere.
I want to forget her, erase her from my memory. And I can't. And I can't get alcohol to forget for awhile...it's not like I have the money even if I knew someone who would. And it's not like I can take up smoking or anything, because I'm too poor to do that too. Fucking lack of a job....
I am quite literally to the point where I want to pack a few bags of clothes, grab my guitar and just leave. Pick a way to walk on the freeway and just hitchhike to some town where no one knows my name or my face. Where I can start over.
Do you know you're the reason I stay? That I try so hard? Do you notice that I need you?
Would you notice if I just left and never returned?
Yes you, my nerd that I love so much. The YOU is you...would you notice?