OHMYGOSHYUUGAIZ

Lyexsah's picture

I TOTALLY FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY DRAGONSLAYER DREAMS!!

Okay, okay, back in... maybe April? Or May. Before school ended. I kept having these dreams, and it was a different dream each night, but I kept dreaming I was a peasant boy in medieval times! I left home with nothing but a sword and my clothes, and went on amazing adventures! I saved princesses and slayed dragons, and eventually, I became a knight! They were brilliant dreams!

And very real, too. There were times that I was actually scared I'd die or something, and I still swear I felt the dragon's hot breath and everything. It was WEIRD.

But amazing.

The makes me want to tell you, because I never told you this, either. Sometimes I wish I were a guy.

Actually, quite often. I'm not sure, though. Sometimes I like being a girl, too. But there are a lot of times I really wish I was a guy. A lot of times I don't feel right as a female.

I dunno.

Anyways. I'm lonely! Why do I have to live in mormonland where there's practically nothing to do, and no one that I have a chance with. :[

So many of the girls are straight and so many of the boys are dicks.

Comments

Riku's picture

There's nothing wrong with

There's nothing wrong with wishing you were a guy or not feeling right as female or whatever else. You could be trans but you may not be too. I -am- trans so if you want to talk to me about it I'm here. I know -all- about not feeling right as female. Heh. So feel free to PM me if you have questions or just want to talk about it or whatever. This gender business can be pretty confusing stuff.

Also, those are awesome dreams. Like, seriously awesome. I wish my dreams were that awesome. Instead I have dreams about weird little hospitals and weird little boys that steal my shoes and follow me everywhere. :I I do have very real dreams though, I mean, they're not realistic by any stretch of the imagination, but they're real feeling. I normally have all of my senses (including pain, unfortunately) while dreaming. Which is apparently unusual. I don't know a lot of people who can feel pain in their dreams. Lucky them. :P

Lyexsah's picture

I sometimes wonder

if I'm not supposed to be a girl. Like it was a cosmic brainfart when my gender was formed. Other times, though, I feel right about being a girl. And sometimes I don't feel right being human at all. It's weird. I wish I could switch back and forth because sometimes I'm just confused about the whole thing. :P

Yeah, it was amazing. I made a beastly peasant boy. 8D It's definitely better than my series of nightmares where I was in torture chambers and death games that were somewhat reminiscent of the SAW series.

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P.L.U.R.

Riku's picture

Do you know what makes you

Do you know what makes you feel that way? Like, when you feel like you should be a boy (or a girl) is it because of possible social benefits or changes? Or is it more like a "this shoe just doesn't fit me" kind of thing? I have a friend who switches back and fourth. Imagine we live in a world where people automatically accept you as whatever gender you present yourself as, even if you go into a 'none of the above' category would you rather people recognize you as male? female? Niether? Both? Asking yourself questions like this can help sort out the confusion. And be honest with yourself.

I think that's why I've avoided watching anything out of the SAW series. The last thing I need is to have nightmares about what they do to people in those movies. I mean, that stuff is bad enough when you -don't- feel pain in your dreams. XP

Lyexsah's picture

I dunno.

It just that some days, if not most, I feel pretty boy-ish. Sometimes more than others. It's hard to explain, really. > >

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P.L.U.R.

Riku's picture

Well prettyboyish is

Well prettyboyish is different from female.

Not all gender variance is distinctly macho-male or super-female. There's a world of in-between and what matters is what you want for yourself. I mean, the world is kind of strict about what guys and girls "should" be like, but the whole point to any of this is to be honest with yourself and about yourself... So ignore what the world thinks. :P

Wolfcry's picture

XD ASHEY! I MISS YOUUUUUUU!

XD ASHEY! I MISS YOUUUUUUU! *hugs*

"My ear should catch your voice; my eye, your eye, My tongue should catch your tongue, sweet melody, My tongue your tongue were the world mine, And I will sing that they shall hear: That I am not, I am not afraid, I am not afraid!" -- Were The World

Lyexsah's picture

I MISS YOU MOAR!!!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!

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P.L.U.R.

Wolfcry's picture

Chew shuld moovings to

Chew shuld moovings to Austin, soz wez culd hang out like bats!

"My ear should catch your voice; my eye, your eye, My tongue should catch your tongue, sweet melody, My tongue your tongue were the world mine, And I will sing that they shall hear: That I am not, I am not afraid, I am not afraid!" -- Were The World