sometimes Andrea Gibson says it all.

hayden_love778899's picture

tonight i wanna slit my wrists
hold the blood to god's lips and say taste this
tonight i could swear even the man in the moon
is a rapist
and stars are nothing but scars
bullet wounds from humanities drive
by firing at the face of the sky
tonight crying would be too easy
it would please me too much
and no i don't want you to touch me
cause your hands are clean
and i'm filthy
guilty with the blood of something beautiful
all over me
i've been weak and leaking so much poison
in all the rivers around me
the fish are dying
and the trees are vying for some light
but i'm the eternal night
writing rhymes about wind chimes and world peace
while even in my sleep
i'm fighting wars that grind the enamel off my teeth
and i wake with my jaw clenched and my body bent
thinking how many dishes have i broken this week?
in an attempt to not break myself
by taking brutal belt to my hide
cause it's hard to wanna survive
when i know if ghandi were alive
... he'd shoot me
and all the great therapists of this world might say
girl maybe your anger is good
maybe your rage
is you emerging from the cage of everything you've been
so i try to be zen singing mantras of
om mani padme hum
but god fears me too much to hear me
and my heart beats another kid in the candy store
and his mother calls the cops
and every time the clock tics
i start tic tic tic talking more shit
my voice sounding the crucifixion of everything holy
i've got blisters on my tongue
from pounding nails into hearts of prophets
and just when i think i can stop it
satan resurrects inside me
and everything around me turns to hell
last night i stole pennies from a wishing well
to buy rope
to lynch the last inch of hope from the planet from the planet
and all
because you have a new girlfriend and i can't stand it
and i know it doesn't make sense
i know we decided to be just friends
but i didn't think we'd be just friends forever
i mean...
i wanted to be eighty together
wanted to birth poems like babies together
and watch them grow up save the world
cause girl
you're the only one who could ever raise the sun inside me
and i swear the ground beneath my feet
is only soft because you walk beside
there were times i thought i was so lost
even god would never find me
and then you came up right behind me
and kissed a cross onto my back
and its things like that that got me going crazy
cause i was thinking maybe the breaths we'd take together
would make us live forever
and now you're killing me
look at me i'm dying
not even trying to evolve

Comments

holahaveamuffin18's picture

anything, right? i have her

anything, right?
i have her chapbook. :) ... and most of it memorized.
she's amazing.

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Am I misssing something

Am I misssing something love?

It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her…

hayden_love778899's picture

:(

no, im missing something.

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

And what's that? We never

And what's that? We never talked about this like you said we would. By the way miss -pokes your nose-

It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her…