Hello,im a new member.
My name is Gabbie.
Both my birth name,and trans name.
Out to my family as trans.
But,they do not accept it.
I have long hair,no binder.
And im forced to wear girly clothing,and forced to identify as female.
I look in the mirror,and know that.That's not me.
I am,a boy.
I may have girl-ish tendencies or,i may somewhat still like men.
But that's just who i am,I like wearing eyeliner.
And im obsessed over hello kitty.
To me that doesn't make me less of a man,That just makes me who i am.
But to my family,that means im still a girl.
I wish they knew how i felt about myself.
The envy i feel toward other men or trans men who get to just be themselves,I wake up every morning,Hoping.That maybe my family my accepted me today.
I walk to the bathroom,and try so hard not to look in the mirror,the one thing that reminds me that im stuck a female until my family can approve.
I take a shower,and close my eyes.To avoid having to look at this body i have.
I go to my room,and pick out my girl shirts,and girl pants.Put them on,and do my long hair.
I don't like that routine,it actually makes me even more depressed then you all would think.
To everyone,who families don't accept you,for YOU.
Don't worry,you aren't alone.
Because,im living my hell everyday.As a female.
Just keep in mind what im keeping in mind:18th birthday,Cutting off my hair,Buying a binder,Starting T,and getting chest surgery.
My and Your day will come.
Soon enough,Just don't give up.
I came close to giving up.And i realized i DO have something to live for.
Live for the day you finally get to be yourself.