Hello, Oasis.

The sometime spazz's picture

Hello everyone on here.
This is my first journal entry, as you can possibly tell.
Somehow, I don't feel awkward at all.
Probably because I don't feel so alone anymore,
I don't feel depressed anymore,
I feel like people can actually understand me now.
I don't feel like a freak.
People have called me a freak before.
Only because I dressed like a ninja on the last day of 7th grade.
I don't see anything wrong with it, it was just a one time thing.
I wonder what would happen if they knew I was a lesbian.
My classmates use "gay" and "lesbian" as insults.
EVEN THOUGH we are in MASSACHUSETTS,
In an ACCEPTING community,
THEY STILL USE THEM AS AN INSULT.
It's so annoying.
Anyway, my parents are homophobic.
So is my little brother.
They think it's wrong to be gay or lesbian.
At least my older sisters are accepting of my sexual orientation.
They are some of the people who know.
I came out to some of my friends.
They were accepting too.
Some of them are bisexual, too.
I feel lucky, somehow.
Because I know, there are probably people out there, who have it worse than me.
So I'm not going to rant about how much my life sucks and such.
Well, at least I'll try not too.
I don't know what to say now.
Umm.... I"m bipolar.
Which is the meaning behind my username here, The sometime spazz.
I get energetic sometimes. Other times, I'm calm. Or angsty.
Wooo, teenage angst and puburty, with an extra dose of parental homophobia sprinkled on top.
What a wonderful recipe.
Eh, it's late at night, I should go sleep.
Good-bye.

Comments

MacAvity's picture

Hello!

Hello and welcome. Not that I have much authority to say that - I'm new here too, just joined about two or three days ago. But that feeling of not being alone or depressed anymore - that's fresh in my memory!

I think everyone's classmates use 'gay' as an insult - certainly mine do. I'm considering speaking up next time I hear it at an opportune time (probable target: that guy Matt in Welding who sits right in front of me and calls classmates 'gay' at least twice a period), say something like 'Statistics, unreliable as they may be, suggest that only ninety percent of the population is actually straight, so chances are good that there's at least one gay person in this classroom right now, and it's probably not the person you just tried to insult.' Of course, he'd probably just retort with 'Yeah, it's you!' and the class would laugh. But I could deal with that. I could even tell them 'Yeah, I might be' (because I don't know, see, otherwise I'd just come out to them outright). Ha, I'm androgynous enough that they wouldn't even know if I was a gay guy or a lesbian. And even if they do use 'gay' as an insult, I don't think they'd beat me up or anything. I don't think they'd beat anyone up. And even if they did - I'd fight back, and get beaten up, and see how much it hurt (I've never been in actual combat before, but I've taken some lessons). And then there'd be a big stink and uproar. But they wouldn't beat me up; they aren't the type.

But I digress. Maybe I'll try it, sometime this week. If I do, I'll report back with the results. Assuming I'm not in the hospital or anything.

Anyway, I just wanted to say - On my last day of seventh grade, I dressed as a Jedi, plastic lightsaber and all. Then again, I didn't ever come back to that school, so nobody got the opportunity to call me a freak. Ah well.

The sometime spazz's picture

Yeah, I guess it's pretty common.

It seems that almost everyone uses 'gay' as an insult.
But it's been dying down a bit at my school, so I'm slightly happier.
Anyway, cool! You even had a light saber?!!? All I had besides black clothing was this giant pink inflatable hammer.

Sometimes we fail, and sometimes we epic fail. Either way, it's still a WIN.

lamb_da's picture

oh my goodness! new comer!

oh my goodness! new comer! *hughughug* welcome! :D
and what is this? homphobes in mass?! waaaaaaaah?!
oh dear...must be fixed right now right now right now!
ok done. :D again! welcome, my dear, to oasis :)

You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pick up line. ;)

ferrets's picture

hello :D

welcome to oasis. :)

does you like ferrets?

More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.
-Harvey Milk

swimmerguy's picture

Hi!

I'm the obviously swimming obsessed nerd of the site. Woah, someone younger than me! I welcome!
Have a great time here!

No one escapes from life alive

elph's picture

Nerd?... Maybe...

You've expropriated the expression (obsessed)... and it is indeed now yours :)

Wear it with pride; it suits you well!

Super Duck's picture

Hi! :D Welcome to Oasis!

Hi! :D Welcome to Oasis!

jacjessen90's picture

just so you know...

i did read this but i don't say hi here i send welcome wagon pm's to all who are new....

"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez addams

niks121997's picture

Hi

Welcome!! :)

kiko's picture

lol welcome

i totally went through the same stuff you did my family are conservative christians so i dont tell them squat they're easily disappointed, ive never lived in people friendly environments, especially since i moved to utah being gay here is like being black in a white supremacist community its not easy, and high school was hell not the best years of my life lol, i always had to be someone else just so i can keep myself secret, i was scared and unsure, but i figured out its better to be yourself, but whatever people hate no matter what cant change them thats why its just better to not care theres no greater insult to an enemy than to be ignored :)

------------------------------------------
we are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
- idk

The sometime spazz's picture

WOAH! Comments...you people

WOAH! Comments...you people are really that happy that someone new came here? Yes, I am having a great time here, and ferrets are pretty cool. Thanks for the hugs.

Sometimes we fail, and sometimes we epic fail. Either way, it's still a WIN.