Marshmallows Touch Themselves At Night

Super Duck's picture

That has got to be my favorite quote so far from the Instant Title Generator. Well, that and "Fishermen Are Watching You Poop."

My 7-year-old sister is currently whining about how I'm allowed to eat in my room while she isn't. This is because I know how to throw away my trash, and she apparently doesn't. I don't think she quite grasps the concept of me being more than twice her age and therefore able to do things she can't. I hate it when she says, "But Super Duck can ____!" while arguing about not being able to do something. 15-year-olds are generally allowed to do many more things than 7-year-olds are...

I've had a test practically every day this week. I don't like tests. I wish I could just write essays instead, but that might not work so well in subjects like algebra. I like writing essays, actually, because I enjoy writing. I had a test today that consisted of many multiple choice questions and one essay, and ooh, a cute cheerleader accepted my facebook friend request! Sorry, let me continue. I think I did very well on the essay, but I probably failed the multiple choice. There were questions on there that honestly didn't even make any sense, and I wasn't the only person who noticed.

So, I had this awkward conversation with French Class Girl today. It did make me feel flattered, especially coming from a girl, but it was a little weird because this girl was, of course, FCG.

FCG: Super Duck!
Me: Yes?
FCG: You're cute.
Me: ...What?
FCG: I said that you're cute.
Me: Uh, thanks.
FCG: Why don't you think you're cute? You always act like you think you're "just average" or something, but you're so totally not.
Me: Well, I guess I do see myself as looking kinda average.
FCG: Don't! You're super cute!

I didn't really know how to respond to that. I mean, it's FCG! Anyone else would've been so easy to respond to, but she's just so... FCG-ish. At least someone finds me attractive, though, right? I guess that makes me feel a little better. Maybe.


625539's picture

A Super Duck x FCG romance

A Super Duck x FCG romance blooming? ;)
(I'm just kidding, by the way)

nothing is permitted. everything is allowed.

Super Duck's picture

No. Just no.

I have standards. :D

Dracofangxxx's picture

I'm telling you

At some point in your life, you're gonna want to tap that.

Drink the water when it's there! ;D
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

Super Duck's picture

Me, tap FCG? Eww!

But she's so... FCG-ish! :( I am pretty sure I'm not gonna want any of that.

swimmerguy's picture


She's like the single oasis in the desert for miles! A really weird one, where the frogs dance under the moonlight and the water flows uphill, but an oasis is an oasis no matter what!
And she's also a senior, so you have to make yo move.
Just sayin :D

No one escapes from life alive

Super Duck's picture

Hehe, I do love the part

Hehe, I do love the part about her being "a really weird one, where the frogs dance under the moonlight and the water flows uphill."

But I don't wanna put the moves on her... She's FCG!

epicfailure's picture

Ewww i feel sorry for you.

Ewww i feel sorry for you. Next thing you know she'll be hitting on you and I don't mean awkward conversations. Just hope you don't turn into one of FCG's girls.

* I wish you knew how much I love you
I wish you felt the same way to*

Super Duck's picture


You are quite possibly the only person ever who feels bad for me regarding this situation. I don't want to become one of her hoes either. Then I'd have to touch her hair. Eww.

epicfailure's picture

No problem, thought I'd back

No problem, thought I'd back the losing side this time:)
Yeah you'd totally have to be tapped in the head to be one of her hoes.

* I wish you knew how much I love you
I wish you felt the same way to*

ReinbowGrl's picture

FCG pursues and what are you

FCG pursues and what are you gonna do? Embrace her weirdness. Maybe she's more normal when she's not at school? Or when she's properly medicated?

- - - - - - - -
I don't need company in the company of you. I don't need love, your love will do. And I've got you and you've got me and this is all you need. I don't need air, I don't need to breathe. I don't need rest, I don't have time to sleep.

Super Duck's picture

But... She's FCG! Hehe,

But... She's FCG!

Hehe, "when she's properly medicated." I'd have to buy her a box of psychiatric medication for Valentine's Day and hope she took the hint!

Riku's picture

That is a fantastic title.

I wish my marshmallows would get themselves pregnant though, and have lots of marshmallow babies. Vegan marshmallows are hard to come by...

Haha. I'm sorry about French Class Girl. Being sort-of hit on by someone you have less than zero interest in perusing is always... Weird. Oddly flattering but still unpleasant? Something like that.

Super Duck's picture

Haha, marshmallow babies

Haha, marshmallow babies would be so cute! And delicious. :D

I know! It's like I'm glad that someone thinks I'm attractive, but I'm a little weirded out that it has to be FCG...

jeff's picture

Hmm, the tide is turning...

I used to suggest you're actually attracted to her. Now, everyone seems to be advising you to hit that, too! ;-)

FCG = French Class Girlfriend

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Super Duck's picture

But I don't WANT to hit

But I don't WANT to hit that! :( She's soooo FCG-ish!

That is so totally not what FCG stands for! She will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER be my girlfriend, and here is why!

1. She's FCG.
2. She's a freakazoid.
3. We have a ridiculous height difference.
4. She has to have her way all the time or else she gets upset.
5. I don't want to touch her hair... EVER.
6. She's FCG.

loreonpravus's picture

Oh dearie me.

Super Duck, this whole FCG thing and this supposed apparent sexual tension has totally become an Oasis meme.

But if you can see it from everybody else's view, it's totally hilarious. eheh.

Super Duck's picture


It's embarrassing that people apparently think I have such low standards! If you saw her and then experienced just one French class with her, you'd all understand. She is a total freakazoid. She's obnoxious at times. Hell, she's not even cute enough to be just physically attracted to!

Riku's picture

From our perspective...

None of us know what she looks like or what it's like to be around her... I mean, we get your descriptions but none of us could say we know FCG.

Besides, I think most of us believe you when you say that you're not even a tiny bit attracted to her... But it IS really funny to suggest that you are and watch you flip out... Although, you do come off as obsessed. Haha. She's like, all you ever talk about.

Don't stop talking about her though! We need all of the FCG stories we can get before she graduates! Ha. It makes me wonder if my antics are, or have ever been, entertainment for some random group of people on the internet that I've never spoken to before as well... Hmmmm... Makes me want to internet-stalk my friends and see if they've been talking about me. XD

Super Duck's picture

Wait... You guys actually

Wait... You guys actually believe me when I say I don't want her? Okay, good, I feel better now. And I can't help talking about her! She's the best thing at school. :p

I don't really do anything worth talking about, but if I did, I'd be honored if I became a mini-internet celebrity. I tell my friends in real life about her too, and one said hi to her in the hall. FCG then asked me, "Do you and your friends ever like, talk about how funny I am?" My answer was, "Uhhh..." She didn't seem mad when she asked, so maybe she feels honored too!

ferrets's picture

ohhh i know waht she looks like

i hope fpr your sake you dont wake up naked, with someones hands in your hair.

More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.
-Harvey Milk

Super Duck's picture




electricity's picture


I can totally imagine one of those odd romances where you are wrong for eachother and she's super irritating but there's some kind of pull that way that you just can't help but succumb to. Baha! So funny she said you were cute.

Super Duck's picture

I REALLY hope that doesn't

I REALLY hope that doesn't happen because FCG = ewwwww!