My rant just turns silly at the end. :(

Super Duck's picture

I feel all angsty tonight. I also can't stop giggling. This is a strange combination. I am angsty because girls do not like me, but they like French Class Girl. I am giggly because... I don't even know.

That brings me to my first point. Girls do not like me. Sometimes they like my shoes, makeup, and/or jewelry, but they never fawn over me, call me pet names, or post extremely suggestive things on my facebook wall like they do to FCG, who is seriously not that attractive or charming. (Maybe they think her stupidity is cute?) I almost fear that she will one day steal all the women in the world, and I will be left alone. Right as I started typing this, yet another girl posted on FCG's facebook wall. She misses her sooooo much. Gag me. How does someone who lives in a closet... No, not a closet. Not even a glass one. She's in a freaking MIME BOX. No heterosexual female wants to be touched by girls 24-freaking-7 and outright obsesses over people's mothers. Anyway, how did someone who lives in a mime box get to be so damn popular with the ladies?

More realistically, I fear that they simply do not make my type of girl in the gay flavor. I feel this way because every girl I've ever crushed on (and all the ones I don't technically crush on but would totally consider asking out if they were gay/bi) was straight. None were even bi. Well, one once said she might be, but it wasn't a definite answer.

Hmm, well, tons of supposedly straight girls (some of whom are hot) really, really dig FCG, and as funny-looking as she is, she is still quite visibly a human female, so it's not like they could possibly be oblivious to that fact or anything. I wonder what her secret is. Am I missing something here? Is there one huge, collective mime box covering my town and the surrounding areas? Oooh, no, maybe she has magical freakazoid powers! Yes, she uses her magical freakazoid powers to generate more lesbians, but sadly, they are only gay for her. We're sort of friends sometimes... Maybe she'd let me borrow her superpowers on my birthday! YES!

Okay, now I'm not giggling at everything anymore. I'm just tired. It's 2 A.M. I love long weekends. Goodnight.

Comments

lamb_da's picture

let's get this oasis party

let's get this oasis party thing up and running and raid a gay town. WE ARE IN DESPERATE NEED OF TEH LAIDEEZ

Hi, I'm a reading Rainbow! :)

Super Duck's picture

YES. I hope FCG doesn't

YES. I hope FCG doesn't crash the party and steal all the ladies like the world-class pimp she somehow is. :(

lamb_da's picture

by how you describe her and

by how you describe her and all your stories, i'm sure we'd just point, laugh and continue with chatting among each other :p

Hi, I'm a reading Rainbow! :)

Super Duck's picture

Haha, true. I doubt she'd be

Haha, true. I doubt she'd be getting any Oasis ladies no matter how much of a pimp she is...

lamb_da's picture

she could never get oasis

she could never get oasis ladies :P we're immune to her, thanks to superduck!

Hi, I'm a reading Rainbow! :)

Super Duck's picture

GASP

I am the anti-FCG vaccine. MAYBE THIS COULD GET ME MANY, MANY, MANY WOMEN

lamb_da's picture

maybe it'll happen AFTER you

maybe it'll happen AFTER you get out of your town :p

Hi, I'm a reading Rainbow! :)

Super Duck's picture

I can see it now... Girl:

I can see it now...

Girl: So, what were you like in high school?
Me: I was an anti-FCG vaccine.
Girl: FCG? You mean that skanky-looking pimp that tried to get with me last weekend?
Me: Yeah, that's probably her.
Girl: OMG THAT'S SOOOO HOT! I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO ALL MY FRIENDS!

And thus, I'd get many, many, many women.

lamb_da's picture

XD oh god, i can't

XD oh god, i can't even.

You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pick up line. ;)

Dracofangxxx's picture

GUESS WHAT

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack and I missed YOU so much <3
-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

Super Duck's picture

Yay! :D I'm currently car

Yay! :D I'm currently car shopping with my dad and posting from my phone, so I can't get to gmail but interesting stuff has happened!

Dracofangxxx's picture

OH MAH GOD

Interesting stuff is AMAZING 8D
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You are beautiful, in every single way <3

PurpleMoonPanic's picture

omfg!!!

I'm officially vaccinated <3 thank you super duck darling.
XxJanahxX

Super Duck's picture

Haha, you're welcome!

Haha, you're welcome!