I got the most girl action today EVER. I got my ass squeezed, some gropage, AND some snuggling.
But then she was like "I WANT TO BE A MAN " and it kinda ruined the mood.
Psh, that was in P.E., too...
Anyways, on a more sad note, I really need to pour out some stuff, so, don't mind me...
I'm getting really lonely. Not lonely in the "I wish I had someone" way, but it's more of a caged feeling. I rarely talk to my best friend anymore, even though we walk to all of our classes together and have lunch together. It's hard; I'm invisible, because she has so many more friends that want to talk to her, too. And they're all louder than me. I'll get interrupted and then, I'm too nervous to speak back up, and then they'll walk ahead together and I'm just stuck walking alone.
I feel like I'm stuck in a glass box and no matter how hard I scream, they don't hear. So I give up. Smashing the box, persay, would give me cuts on my hands and it would make a big mess. But staying in here, this prison, sucks. I draw too much lately, happy things, to keep myself postiive. But it's pointless. The one person who'll talk to me whenever I want, sadly, doesn't seem to give a damn about what I say. That's a mean accusation to make, but... It's true.
(Speaking of, I got an A on my first Alg2/Trig test today. I didn't even get a "Good job" from him. Well, I'm proud of myself, at least.)
I hate feeling like I deserve more than I'm getting, because I really don't, but it's just so annoying when your "friends" don't even acknowledge you there.
They always do this thing, where they plan parties, and I'm not invited. And they try to hide it until AFTER the fact, but I always hear about it beforehand anyways. And then, they try to say the old "Oh, yeah! Why weren't you invited? You're awesome!" or "I wish you were there, it would have been great!" but nobody, not a single person, does something about it. I don't get it. I'm not mean to them.
I asked Blueboy about it and he said "Well, you're just different from them. Not stereotypical." and I guess that makes sense, but is it bad?
(Psst. Then he went on to say that that's why he likes me so much, so it wasn't supposed to sound mean <3)
I just don't get it. I don't know why I'm so unliked. I'm not a bad person. Am I? I'm just... A little stressed, alot of the times. But that's usually because I'm getting ignored and it builds up! I'm too quiet, maybe.
I just want someone to give a damn about what I have to say for once. I'm such a listener, all of the time. I don't mind listening, but, if I talk about something, I want them to listen, too! Sometimes I have stories, as well. And if you don't have something good to talk about, you better damn well at least TRY to care about what I'm saying, at least I'm trying!
I'm so mad and stressed about this right now. I feel like all my current relationships with people are shallow, and my actual relationships are very sexual based. How sad. Doesn't anybody want to talk about video games and art and science and funny stuff and yay? I just want a good friend...
What I would do for you, would you do for me?