Air Fresheners Gave Me This Scar

Super Duck's picture

Helpful Junior was quite helpful today. She told me out of nowhere that two of the easiest girls in the entire school hooked up (with each other) a little while back. Unfortunately, neither one of them is very attractive, and I've heard they possibly have... uh... diseases, so it's not like I can just go ask one of them if they'll help me out! Then Helpful Junior said French Class Girl was gorgeous, which was just weird and not so helpful. What is it with people thinking FCG is hot!? She is sooooo totally not!

Umm, what else was interesting today? Oh, Old Crush was hot. I just wanted to shove her against the wall and... I'll spare the details. She just uploaded some facebook pictures of herself looking quite attractive, but FCG, not wanting to be outdone by her hot cousin, is attempting to look sexy in them too, so it's hard not to laugh. It's soooo hard to believe they're related; they don't even look the slightest bit alike. I'm not even exaggerating when I say they're like, complete opposites.

Oooh, speaking of FCG, today she said guys are "disgusting and have cooties." FCG, you can't say you still believe in cooties. There comes a point at which you just have to face it. You don't even have to say, "I never want a boyfriend because my gayness level is over 9000." You just have to stop being annoying. I really, really, really just want to go up to FCG and say, "You, my dear, are as gay as the day is long, and EVERYONE KNOWS."

My mom has been confusing lately. Last night, she said I disappointed her by being a scary atheist and didn't talk to me for an hour. Then she gave me an early birthday present, said she loves me, and now plans to wear purple on October 20. It's like she can't make up her mind.

Comments

swimmerguy's picture

Love the title

I know! Sometimes my mom is like all freaky where she gets really angry then all of a sudden all loving and nice. I can only wonder what she's planning...
There are several people I just want to say "OKAY YOU'RE GAY! IT'S OBVIOUS AND EVERYONE KNOWS!"
To each his (or her) own, I guess.

No one escapes from life alive

Super Duck's picture

I guess it's just some weird

I guess it's just some weird mom thing... Sure is annoying, though.

And I know, right? FCG is the only person I've ever had the urge to say that to, but she really, really needs to!

jacjessen90's picture

"as gay as the day is long"?...oh, no no no no....

here are some alternate ways of saying that that make a bit more sense, gayer than/as gay as:
1) Christmas
2) Sappho(630-612BC~c. 570BC)
3) Oscar Wilde (1854~1900)
4) Ellen DeGeneres(1958~present)
5) Harvey Milk(1930~1978)
6) Nathen Lane(1956~present)
7) Sean Hays(1970~present)
8) Neil Patrick Harris(1973~present)
9) B.D. Wong(1960~present)
10) Adam Lambert(1982~present)
11) Clay Aiken(1978~present)
12) King Christina, of Sweden(1626~1689)
13) Julius Caeser(100BC~34BC)

"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez and morticia addams
"look at him! i would kill for him! i would die for him! either way what bliss!"~gomez addams

Super Duck's picture

FCG IS GAYER THAN ELLEN

FCG IS GAYER THAN ELLEN DEGENERES!

I love it.

jacjessen90's picture

....and then some, most likely....

glad i made you smile...happy to help!

"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez and morticia addams
"look at him! i would kill for him! i would die for him! either way what bliss!"~gomez addams

loreonpravus's picture

Well, I ran past my old

Well, I ran past my old crush today on this path that runs through a forest- I was going to the tennis courts for my teacher assistant-ing, and she was going home- so I ran extra fast to show off how incredibly speedy I was and when I rounded the corner (so she couldn't see me, right?) I just stopped and collapsed. =/

Then I had to get up and keep running, otherwise she'd have eventually turned the corner and saw lame pathetic attempting-to-impress-a-girl me passed out on the ground.

Super Duck's picture

I bet something like that

I bet something like that would happen to me if I tried to impress a girl. Hahaha. I actually almost fell on Old Crush this morning due to the stupid people in the hallway just standing there, taking up space. Being 5'3", I'm shorter than like 90% of everyone at my school, and I'm not exactly strong enough to push huge guys out of the way, so yeah...