Oof. For the past couple days I've been all depressed.
For one, I rewatched the finale of Six Feet Under, which is by a great margin the best scene of TV I have ever in my life seen. But it's also sad, and makes me cry all the time. I suppose the part where they show Ruth, the mom of the family, dying on her deathbed is the part that affects me the most, as this is when the whole family is still together, and crying over her, and she just looks so sad...
Anyway, rewatching this made me despondent and thoughtful... Not good in itself.
Also, swimming workouts have been KILLER. They took me to a new level of pain and exhaustion I used to think I knew.
You know how there's when you exercise the first hard part, and then the really hard lactic acid burn, and then, after a while, it fades, and you go over into sustainable work, processing the lactic acid as you process it.
But these new sets, harder than any I've ever done, have gotten me over the first lactic acid burn very quickly, like on the order of 10 minutes rather than an hour, and then pushes me into the good part, and then over even the good part into a second lactic acid burn, far worse than the first, and this time there is no relief of processing the lactic acid. You are working too hard to process it.
And, not having gone to any meets in a while, these sets bored and killed me, and made me incredibly tired. I asked coach if we could go back to regular IM sets, and she said "well I'm just trying to get you back in shape after Taper... :)" .
Also, various homophobic instances, and other things. But most of it was the total loss of usual endorphins swimming gives me, and actually leading to a draining of energy and happiness, along with homework and all my regular crap, in a time where I'm already weak from subjecting myself to emotional rape through the Six Feet Under finale.
But, all that ended today! We had a swim meet! My first in like, ever. And these new sets made me SO FREAKING IN SHAPE. I got the best 200 IM on the team. And 50 something peeps from our team were there!
So that brought my happiness and will right back, for the most part.
Also, this was the first real meet of Uber Christian. I think I mentioned once or twice he joined my swim team after middle school swim last year.
But it was so cute, he didn't know anything about the unnofficial swimming rules at swim meets, like how to bring more than one towel, and so many other things. I helped him out a little.
I'm kinda looking forward too and dreading the next couple weeks at the same time. Coach said the sets would get harder, which I dread, as these ones practically killed me, but that also means I'll be in such good shape I'll drop time by the assload.
Tomorrow is another day of meet. Can't wait.