dreamt about M last night. i wish i could see her, talk to her, anything really. i want to be friends with her thoough i know it will never be the same and i hate that. ive tried to contact her but it seems as though she needs space, i understand that, but i hate the idea that maybe she'll never want to be close again.
i think i remind her of her dead sister.
fuck. i hate this so much.
i never thought that one day could turn around a twelve year friendship. apparently so .
M, if youre reading this, please know that ill do whatever to get you back in my life. i miss you and love you.