FCG: "I'm not really that weird."

Super Duck's picture

So, anyway, I am drowning in homework. It makes me RAGE when multiple teachers assign giant-ass (think in the range of about 90 questions on one) worksheets and give us only one day to finish them. I had no homework for two nights. WHY pile it up all on one night? Ugh. This week has been pretty awful except for the study hall thing. That's the only silver lining to this cloud.

95% of my friends are straight girls. Today, they were talking about guy celebrities that they liked. Now, they all know I'm not gonna comment when they do this, even though there's one that just won't believe I'm gay. (I never made a big deal about telling anyone; if someone asks or if it's relevant to the topic at hand, then I can let them know. There is this one friend I have, though, that firmly believes that I'm "just messing around" whenever the topic comes up. Interestingly, it only took 5 minutes to convince her that French Class Girl is gay.) I felt pretty left out, though, because it was a really long conversation to which I had nothing to contribute... Knowing they wouldn't want to hear about celebrities that I like, I just kind of sat there and ate my cookies.

Mrs. History Teacher was strangely nice to me today. Wow, she usually treats me like shit! She even gave me some extra points on my test, and for 15 minutes or so, she pretended like she actually thought I was a human being instead of just a dirty, hell-bound nonbeliever with ATHEIST COOTIES EWWWW.

Old Crush finally learned my name today. Yeah, bitch, you'd better learn it, 'cause you're gonna be screaming it before this year is over! >;D I wonder what she'd have done if I had actually said that to her! Hahaha!

I was a chick magnet today, though! Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but two really attractive juniors offered me cake, and one of them was quite happy that I said good morning to her. Then a girl in my history class said I looked good today! Yay, epic self-esteem boost!

Too bad I'll never be as much of a chick magnet as FCG is. :'( She has this hot college girl just like, ALL over her, and it's not fair. She is soooo gross, and I just don't understand why girls like her! I mean, ewww, have standards! Who'd want a piece of FCG? I have standards, so I sure don't! Yes, my standards... My standards would never, ever fall so low as to allow FCG into the "attractive" category. Never. I have absolutely no idea what's wrong with these girls!

I think I hurt FCG's feelings a little when I laughed at her. Haha! Poor freakazoid. And someone really needs to drag this girl out of the closet; I rage every time she posts a stupid facebook status or comment that perpetuates the LIE! I know that's mean, but enough is enough! It's almost painful to watch such epic failures! Someone has to confront her about this, and it will probably end up having to be me. I'm torn between a gentle approach (Hugging her and saying, "FCG, you know it's okay to be gay, right?") and an aggressive approach (Running up to her and screaming, "HEY, FCG! NARNIA CALLED! THEY'RE KICKING YOU OUT OF THE CLOSET NEXT TUESDAY!").


MacAvity's picture

(Laughing) That bit about

(Laughing) That bit about Narnia... I mean, I know Narnia is hidden in a closet and all (well, wardrobe, but that's just a closet that isn't built in...), but at my school there's an actual closet (yes, built in) that is much deeper than it looks and also contains stairs up to an attic space, and the whole realm accessed through the closet is called Narnia, and sometimes people go into Narnia to change clothes, and then, since they're in Narnia, in a closet, they either have to stay in Narnia forever or come out, and so naturally all manner of closet jokes are made.... Anyway, what you said reminded me of that. And it was funny.

Super Duck's picture



epicfailure's picture

Lucky you. I unfortunately

Lucky you. I unfortunately don't have any chick magnets, all I've got is boy magnets. Heaps of boys have been checking me out and wolf whistling at me lately.

Haha, Yeah, Narnia
The Lieing Bitch in the Wardrobe.

* Like what Shaggy said "it wasn't me"*

Super Duck's picture

At least the boys in

At least the boys in question aren't sleazy old men... I hate Walmart because old guys always stare at me in there. :(

adamwestrop's picture

Its strange

That women/girls dont believe you are gay. I hate to stereotype, but gay and straight men do ultimately tend to have some behaviour differences, unless you are fine to line?

Super Duck's picture


I'm not a gay man. Haha... I'm a lesbian. But I'm not anything even close to the stereotype at all.

funnyflyby's picture


'I mean, she is soooooo gross. I mean, have standards. I don't like FCG because I have standards. And my standards would never let FCG fall into the 'attractive' category.'
Lovely, Super Duck.

Sorry. I'm insensitive. But-
I really do apologize.

Super Duck's picture


FCG IS SO FREAKING GROSS...ly attractive :(

Wow, times change! Hahaha!