Graham Crackers Look Taller on Television

Super Duck's picture

Pretty sure I failed my French test EPICALLY today. Not even kidding. I had no idea what was going on. Oh, well, I can always bring up my grade in that class; it's pretty easy. French Class Girl was nice today. I had my nails painted purple because it's October 20, and she liked them. I don't think she knew what they stood for, but still, she was pleasant. She's been so weirdly nice lately. I wonder what's up with that. She had that big anti-gay rant, but ever since then, she's just been so nice. What's with her? Why is she being so nice all of a sudden? Hmm...

I got a 99 on my algebra test, though! I was pleased. Oh, and there is AMAZING news! Right when I get to school tomorrow morning, I may go by the office and pick up my study hall pass! The principal himself said so! Ahhhh! YES! At last! SO EXCITED!

I'm sad I never have time to draw anymore. I was just thinking about that. I haven't drawn a serious picture in a long time. I need to draw, but I don't even know what I'd draw.

You know, sometimes I think my life would make a bitchin' amazing comic book, but then I think about all the creepy Rule 34 fanfiction and crap that could result from it, and suddenly it doesn't make such a bitchin' amazing comic book anymore... I think I'd probably drop dead on the spot if I ever saw Super Duck x French Class Girl fanfiction.

I had to babysit my sister tonight, and I was helping her with her homework. Wow, why do elementary schools treat the kids like they're fucking stupid? I mean, yeah, they're little, but they do possess brains! Why treat them like they don't? I've never been a math genius, obviously, but I'm pretty sure that even I could do 5+5 by the second grade. My sister's teacher freaked out over handwriting, of all things! Writing the letter "D" a little funky apparently makes you terrible and awful. My mom wrote the teacher a note saying that that was a pretty harsh thing to say over just one letter, but I don't know if the teacher saw it. I have horrible handwriting, and I made all A's in all honors and AP courses. Bad handwriting does NOT make you dumb!

Anyway, expect a happy journal tomorrow about how great my new non-study hall is. If it's really anything like my friends describe, it's the polar opposite of the study hall I was in. If there is a hell, it's that place for sure.


swimmerguy's picture


I always say Elementary school is just a state run day care. Well, grades 1 and 2 aren't that bad, you learn the alphabet and simple math.
But grades 3, 4, and 5 are abolutely useless, as everything I learned in them could easily have been learned instead in the first week of middle school, where I actually started to learn things.

No one escapes from life alive

Super Duck's picture

I hated elementary too

I was my class's babysitter in 1st grade. I knew how to read, so I didn't learn anything new that ENTIRE year. The teacher actually told my mom that she should try to make me "at least pretend to be on the other kids' level."

elph's picture

Oh.. The Insidious Graham Cracker :)

You do not know how the Graham Cracker became such a ubiquitous item in households... particularly in those households with children (initially, just male children) who were in danger of discovering that sex could be exceedingly enjoyable... and, maybe, even addictive?

Horrors! The Graham Cracker can save those children from a life of incessant (daily?) sinning:

Oh... btw, Shredded Wheat (most efficacious if consumed at breakfast) quickly joined as copycat.

It was not uncommon for Sunday services (early 20th century) to extol the virtues of these God-sent gifts to mankind!

Super Duck's picture

Praise the graham cracker!

So... Graham crackers are like the anti-viagra? XD

Graham crackers: Helping children grow into sex-free adults since the 1800s!

elph's picture

Efficacy for adults... not established!

Both products were designed to guarantee sexually virtuous teens and pre-teens... Primarily, not to risk their being forever denied a place in Heaven at such a tender age :)

elph's picture

Efficacy for adults...

Sorry: Double Post... Oasis can be very unfriendly at times!