Never fully get over old crushes?

Riku's picture

So my dad and I the other day were discussing something or other, and the girl who had a crush on me got brought up. I mentioned I hoped she was over me now, and my dad says "Well you never fully get over someone once you've liked them."

And while this may be true for him, it definitely isn't for me. I have definitely had strong feelings for people diminish to nothing. He seemed kind of surprised by this, and, he's been around for a while. He was like "well, maybe I'm a hopeless romantic then." but it got me thinking. Do most people not get over crushes completely? I mean. When it comes to romance I'm kind of an oddball anyway, being that I'm halfway asexual and borderline schizoid. >_>

So yeah, input?

Grace Hughen's picture

I think it depends on how

I think it depends on how much impact they had on your life. For instance, my first crush shaped my development as a person in a big way, and I'll never forget her, but there have been other crushes that didn't do much except make me dizzy for a while, and they were easy to let go of. So I don't think it's weird you can get over people, but I also wouldn't be surprised if that girl has a harder time of it, because everybody's different.

ferrets's picture

i agree

ie been crushing on my friend daniel since i knew i was gay, before even really. and my friend ruslan as well. and i still spend to much tiem thinking about brian.

More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.
-Harvey Milk

MacAvity's picture

I'm not sure whether I

I'm not sure whether I really don't get over people, or whether I deny ever having liked them once I do get over them. It's easiest when the objects of crush change, then I don't have to either continue to like them or get over them. Like the guy I liked in third grade, in one of those phases of my life when I was actually okay being more or less normal (it was between a phase when I wanted to be a bird and a phase when I wanted to be a Chumash Indian - I was a strange child...). He's a real loser now, but I still kind of like the person he was at the time. Another example, for a different situation...the first girl I really noticed, when I was in the eighth grade, I have no idea what she's like now, because I haven't seen her in years, but I still kind of like her, and I think if I were to see her again I would have some sense of not being totally over her. Another example - the 'bad boy' in fifth-ish grade. The person I am now has no interest in the person he was then (or the person he is now, for that matter), but at the time I found him fascinating. Did I have a crush on him? I don't know. If I did, it's completely gone and I'm more or less denying that it ever existed. I've been using the phrase 'more or less' far too much of late. Anyway. I'd side with those who say that one never does fully get over old crushes. Then again I'm not sure my definition of crush matches quite perfectly with everybody else's. Ah well.

whurmy's picture

I totally agree with Grace.

I totally agree with Grace. I loved a girl in 7th grade, and sometimes everything that happened between us still really gets to me and I'm a junior now. So I think it really does depend on how much of an impact they had on you. She made me realize a lot of things about myself.