I'm not a nonconformist. Shocking, I know. Radical. Audacious. How dare I not be a nonconformist? How dare I mindlessly do what is expected of me rather than mindlessly rebelling against it?
Astonishingly, I almost feel like ending my rant there and not going into a typical pages-long signature MacAvity rant. Hmm... Must write more...
Really, though, I see everyone 'nonconforming' in the same way. They're all under a lot of pressure to 'not submit to pressure,' and they submit to it. It's like: Do not obey this command. It's totally paradoxical, completely oxymoronic, entirely hypocritical, et cetera. Everyone wants to be different, and everyone ends up being different than he was before, but very much alike with everyone else. Everyone wants to 'be himself,' and indeed we are often told, or ourselves do the telling (many of you have signatures to this effect), to be ourselves, be who we are, be individuals, don't waste our time trying to be someone else.
And then society tells us that 'ourselves' are hyper-liberals who wear peace signs and tie-dye and smoke marijuana. Or somesuch. I don't even know. I'm not in with the whole nonconformist crowd. The point being, society dictates the supposedly 'individualistic' identity we assume.
Well, I rebel against rebellion! I'll be a 'good kid' if I want to, I'll be a 'square,' I'll be the one person who actually admits to caring, a little bit, what society thinks of me, what my peers think of me, et cetera, and in doing so, ironically enough, I'll be the one who is different. But I won't do it just to be different. I don't do anything just to be different. And that's what makes me different. But I would still do it if everyone else were doing it too.
And you know what? I won't even bother with the whole 'being myself' thing. 'Myself' would be nobody without the people who have influenced me. There is no 'myself,' and if you tell me I have to create one, that defeats the purpose. By gum (I'll use obsolete oaths, too, as I jolly well please), if I want to be Solace (my old human enemy, as I've mentioned, not an abstract concept personified with the capitalisation of the initial letter), then Solace I will be.
So I don't care about standing out from the crowd. In fact I'd like not to stand out all that far. Being a nonconformist would help me blend in, but I'm not going to do that. Besides which, it would defeat the point. Whatever the point is.
Paradoxical, yes. But there you have it.