Three Farmers On Their Way to See Batman

Super Duck's picture

This senior guy I've never talked to in my entire life came up to me today, butted into my conversation, and told me I was going to rot in hell. I said, "Great! I'll see you there." He just kind of slowly walked away after that. It was pretty weird and oddly hilarious. I've heard he's a rotten bag of douche, and I guess it's true.

My math test didn't ruin my A! I still have like, a 94. YES! I'm still worried about my other teachers' attempts at drowning me in homework before the 9 weeks are up, though. :( If I don't get out of the study hall, I will die! Okay, maybe not, but it won't be pretty, that's for sure.

French Class Girl appeared to grab Irritating Girl's ass today. She was utterly offended when I noticed because "gay stuff is nasty!" Right, FCG. Riiiight. You hate "gay stuff." That's why you absolutely have to have IG's hands on you at all times. That's why you're in love with my mom. That's why you're FCG!

Me: You, my dear, are extraordinarily homosexual.
FCG: Yep. :)
Me: ...What?
FCG: I WAS KIDDING!
Me: Suuuuure.

She then started being gross and doing a "victory dance" that looked like she was having sex with the air or something and speaking in a weird voice. She is so nasty and annoying!

Me: What are you even doing? You are a disgusting freakazoid.
FCG: Am not!
Me: No one in the entire universe loves you.
FCG: Your mom does!
Me: I can't tell if you legitimately believe my mother loves you or if that was simply a "your mom" joke.
FCG: She does! I just know she does!
Me: Oh, wow...
FCG: And you do! You love me!
Me: Yeah, but I'm not IN love with you. Sorry.

What's it gonna take for this chick to come out of the closet? She doesn't have to tell everybody or get an "I FUCK GIRLS" t-shirt or anything like that, but damn, at least tell the one person she knows for a fact won't disown her as a friend!

There was an incident at lunch a few days ago. I was telling one of my friends about "that girl from French class who's probably a lesbian," and this 11th grade guy I don't talk to was near us. Right when that phrase escaped my mouth, he stopped dead in his tracks and turned to me.

Guy: WHOA!
Me: What?
Guy: I heard the magic word.
Me: Magic word?
Guy: LESBIAN.
Me: Huh?
All Guys at the Table: TELL ME WHO THE LESBIAN ISSSSS!
Me: :/ ((turns back around and ignores them))

It annoyed me for some reason, but I'm not entirely sure why. At least he didn't go, "EWW, LESBIANS!" or, "I bet I could turn any lesbian straight!"

Comments

625539's picture

unrelated, but

I'm having so much fun with the unrelated title generator, i would have never known it's existence without your journals :
My Daughter, The Dangerous Football
Sherlock Holmes And The Singing Famous Toaster

oh lord.

nothing is permitted. everything is allowed.

Super Duck's picture

It's pretty great :D

It's pretty great :D

Splash's picture

Sherlock Holmes And The Singing Famous Toaster???

I may have to steal that for Nanowrimo. I've been thinking of just using random generators for inspiration this year, and that's AWESOME.

(If you have no clue what I'm talking about: www.nanowrimo.org.)

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

Splash's picture

about the jerk guy:

I think you win the award for best possible comeback. :-)

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

Super Duck's picture

Haha, he was pretty shocked!

Haha, he was pretty shocked!

jeff's picture

Hmm...

If the afterlife is eternal, why would anyone rot in hell? You'd just hang out there, no?

I think Jim Jeffries really nails a major loophole about hell:

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

Super Duck's picture

HAHAHA! I love it!

HAHAHA! I love it!

RainbowStorm's picture

What is the "unrelated title

What is the "unrelated title genorater"????????
~ "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken."
You'll never know I love you, but I hope you feel it all the same.