You Can't Have Everything without Anything

centerfielder08's picture

I work sometimes to try and define myself, label myself, just to get an idea of who I am, or what I am, or what I believe and stand for.
I wanted to write this post for me and for anyone else who wants to say such things but doesnt know where the best place is to do so.

I am not a girl and I am not a boy. I am both and I am neither.
I don't think of myself as 'lesbian,' but rather 'gay.'
I'm feminine and yet masculine.
I want to be everything and nothing.
I want to have someone to depend on and I want to be independent.
I want to be tough and I want to be sensitive.
Some days I'm Eli, some days I'm Sofia.

I want to write everything that I am here. Please no judgments.
I am female but not a girl, I am not male nor man nor boy but guy. I am not chick, I'm dude. I'm a nonconforming skeptist that gives in too easy to others' thoughts and beliefs.

Comments

jacjessen90's picture

quite moving....

you quite obviously poured your soul onto the page....i'm amazed at the raw emotion envoked by this simple-looking entry....i feel you would be a good cantidate for a "Kaffeeklatsch"....

"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez and morticia addams
"look at him! i would kill for him! i would die for him! either way what bliss!"~gomez addams

Riku's picture

Don't worry too much about

Don't worry too much about labeling yourself. Labels are, and should always be secondary. Once you know who you are and what you want -then- you can look for a label. If you try to find a label before you know that stuff it just serves to further confuse in most cases. A label is just what you call yourself to explain to other people what you're like in simple terms. You define your labels, not the other way around.

centerfielder08's picture

thanks for the compliment,

thanks for the compliment, jacjessen90.
whats Kaffeeklatsch?

i wanted to write more things like this post, but didnt know how it'd go over. :p

jacjessen90's picture

literally? or really?

literally it means"coffee party" but...
really, it's more like when your gramma gets all those other older people to come over and play rummy or canasta and drink sherry and gossip and have fun until dawn... in other words i think you'd be one hell of a person to sit and chat with if you ever have free time...drop me a line....

"to live a day alone, only THAT would be torture! An hour without you, only THAT would be death!" ~gomez and morticia addams
"look at him! i would kill for him! i would die for him! either way what bliss!"~gomez addams

centerfielder08's picture

riku--didnt see this before

riku--didnt see this before i wrote up my comment.
:) thank you :D

centerfielder08's picture

dude...i love doing that.

dude...i love doing that. just sitting and talking, serioously. we should totally do that. wanna?
i always wished i could do that kind of thing with someone....
<3 jacjessen90

centerfielder08's picture

jacjessen90...PM me if you

jacjessen90...PM me if you wanna chat.

loreonpravus's picture

heya, got your pm =D and yes

heya, got your pm =D and yes I do remember.

centerfielder08's picture

:) sweetnesssss

:) sweetnesssss