Coming Clean

Super Duck's picture

I feel like I'm confessing to doing something bad or wrong, like pushing down an old lady or stealing candy bars from children. But I didn't do any of those things, so that's not what I'm trying to say here. In fact, what I'm confessing to is probably a thousand times worse than both of those put together, and I am NOT having an easy time typing this. My stomach is in knots, and I feel like the biggest loser ever. I guess it's time to be a big girl now and own up to it, though. Ugh. Please don't laugh, okay? It's really bad... I'm seriously thinking of chickening out when it comes to posting this, but if you're reading this, I didn't.

Today, I was at school, and I was in this one class with a few people. One of the people I was with was a girl, and I happen to feel a strange attraction to the girl in question. I have for a few weeks now, but it has gotten worse in the past few days. Anyway, this is relevant because said girl was whining about how no one likes her, as in like like, but that's obviously not true, because that contradicts what I just said. That's pretty normal, right? Well, uh, here's where it gets a little... bad. The class may or may not have been a certain foreign language, and the girl may or may not have been of the freakazoid species. And, um, by "may or may not have been," I mean "was." I can't believe I'm posting this. Oh, my god. I just can't even... I'm so sorry. I didn't think I had such awful taste in women, but I couldn't resist. She's no drop-dead gorgeous supermodel, but she is actually not as terribly, horrifyingly ugly as I say she is; I've always thought blonde hair and blue eyes were a huuuge turn-on. I find her freakishness a bit charming in a strange way. I secretly really, really liked it when she hugged me; she's warm, she smells nice, and she gives good hugs. I can't exactly figure out WHY I feel this way, though. Oh, and I already feel like the biggest idiot on the planet for succumbing to her spell, so you guys don't have to tell me that.

I didn't say anything to her when she was complaining, though, because she is, after all, so deep in the closet that she has a second house in Narnia. One of my friends saw her groping a girl yesterday. The girl was NOT happy. Do you know what's crazy, besides this entire post so far? Irritating Girl asked her if she had a boyfriend. Hahaha! Oh, and IG and I are becoming friends too, which is pretty weird itself.

Sorry for the random post. I felt like saying it after her complaints... It's also getting increasingly difficult to come up with solid reasons to deny it in the comments. Oh, and she leaves forever in May. What if I still feel like this then? What if she comes out of the closet?

If this has been too annoying to read, the summarized version is as follows: I, Super Duck, might have a little crush on the freakazoid, and it's the end of the freaking world.

Anyway, I'm gonna go curl up in a ball and die of shame now. This is so, so, so, so awful. I'm terribly sorry that I am so stupid, but 16-year-old humans have... hormones... and that makes us stupid sometimes, right? Oh, but I am so ashamed. :(

Comments

The Bookworm's picture

This actually made me laugh, but I felt really bad about it.

Don't die of shame please.
And yes, we all knew that already.

Super Duck's picture

How can I not die of shame?

How can I not die of shame? :( It's AWFUL! It's the end of the world! It's horrible! It's embarrassing!

The Bookworm's picture

All crushes are, to some

All crushes are, to some degree.
Besides, it's only this bad because you insisted that you didn't like her. Denial, my friend, denial.

Splash's picture

*hug*

You know, by your own descriptions of her, at least FCG is an ENDEARING freakazoid...

And crushes are not the end of the world. Even if they're on endearing freakazoids who may be part Narnian. Crushes can be the most embarrassing, frustrating things in the world, true (especially unrequited crushes), but they can also be happy and fun and floaty. At least mine are. Enjoy it while you can, perhaps?

I'm not going to say that I got no amusement from learning that the "Super Duck + FCG" fan club was, in fact, on to something, but I promise not to tease you mercilessly about it. :-)

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

Super Duck's picture

Thanks... :( I feel a little better, I think.

She IS an endearing freakazoid! She's undeniably weird, but she's not a total creep or anything. Like I said, I think her weirdness is kind of cute and charming in a way...

It feels like the end of the world, though, because it's FCG. :(

And thank you for promising not to tease me mercilessly!

lamb_da's picture

oh superduck...*hug* i don't

oh superduck...*hug* i don't wanna say it, but....i have to...
itoldyouso.
there. yeah...well, it's not the end of the world mmk? :)
*huggle*

You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pick up line. ;)

Super Duck's picture

:( But it sure feels like it

:( But it sure feels like it is...

lamb_da's picture

well...strange, yes. the

well...strange, yes. the world has been altered, yes. the world is ending? yes, but not until 2012 ;)

You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pick up line. ;)

Dracofangxxx's picture

AHH MY GOD :D

YOU FINALLY TOLD 'EM

Yay :3 I'm proud of you X3

See? I told you they wouldn't be mean :P
-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

Super Duck's picture

But that doesn't mean it's

But that doesn't mean it's not embarrassing... :(

Dracofangxxx's picture

Aw, don't be embarrassed :D You can't help who ya like.

Verily, and such, this day, November Fifteenth, shall forever be known as "FCG Day" in honor of the admittance of your love.

I'm going to mark my calendar RIGHT now.
-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

625539's picture

OASIS HAS BEEN WAITING SO

OASIS HAS BEEN WAITING SO LONG

nothing is permitted. everything is allowed.

Super Duck's picture

:( I guess so.

:( I guess so.

MacAvity's picture

WE KNEW IT! This indeed is a

WE KNEW IT!

This indeed is a turning point in the life of Super Duck.

Super Duck's picture

But is it a good turning

But is it a good turning point, or is it a bad one? :(

MacAvity's picture

Oh, a good one. Definitely.

Oh, a good one. Definitely. I mean, how sad would it be if the two of you went your separate ways in the world without either ever acknowledging, even to herself, how she felt about the other? That would be tragic.

swimmerguy's picture

Hooray!

Oh, it's been obvious enough.
Not that this journal wasn't abso-freakin-lutely hilarious, but it's not the end of the world, or my (and probably anyone else's) opinion of you.
I tend to get crushes on people I would rather not. It has a way of happening to teenagers.

No one escapes from life alive

Super Duck's picture

I'm glad no one has been all

I'm glad no one has been all "DLFJSKDSJ SUPER DUCK OMFG I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU" yet... And yes, that does seem to be an awful teenage thing :(

niks121997's picture

Hey...

I know I haven't been active at all for the past few months (I've been awful about posting/responding), but I simply had to come out of nonactivity to respond to this. Others have already said a lot of what I wanted to say: crushes can be embarrassing and can feel like the end of the world even though they really aren't in the grand picture. Yet they're also confusing, and entire fields are dedicated to figuring out the why behind what attracts us to others. But the why is less important really (at least that's my opinion).

I mean...it is what it is right? Or rather...it is what you make of it. So...what comes next? All of this is a long-winded way of saying you won't find any teasing or bad feelings from my direction. :) And do you feel the tiniest bit better finally leaving the land of denial?

Super Duck's picture

Thank you :)

I think it's interesting that there's research dedicated to attraction. Maybe they should study my brain 'cause I think I might be a few fries short of a Happy Meal now, if you know what I'm saying...

Hmm, I dunno. It could possibly be a good thing to leave Denial Land, but it's still pretty embarrassing.

niks121997's picture

Well

There's research dedicated to sex, sexuality, attraction, and its complexities. Ha I know what you're saying, and I know you aren't happy about your crush. Why does it embarrass you so?

Splash's picture

Someone proposed the

Someone proposed the possibility of Super Duck + FCG = <3 several weeks ago. Our beloved Super Duck has VEHEMENTLY denied any possibility of this ever since. She probably had to swallow a large amount of pride to post this at all.

~~~ the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses ~ e e cummings ~~~

Super Duck's picture

Basically, what Splash said,

Basically, what Splash said, and the fact that it's FCG.

niks121997's picture

Ah yes...

It may have seemed an obvious question, but I wanted to be sure. Thanks guys. :)

ReinbowGrl's picture

I knew it!!!!! I just shed

I knew it!!!!! I just shed actual tears. Like a million. I am sooooooo happy. We have been waiting for this day for a million years.

- - - - - - - -
I don't need company in the company of you. I don't need love, your love will do. And I've got you and you've got me and this is all you need. I don't need air, I don't need to breathe. I don't need rest, I don't have time to sleep.

Super Duck's picture

Well, I'm glad someone's

Well, I'm glad someone's happy. Hahaha. I'm still not too pleased about it, though...

epicfailure's picture

Finally:) *hugs* Don't be

Finally:) *hugs*
Don't be ashamed you can't help who you fall for.
It's not the end of the world, it's the start of something new. FCG+ Super Duck. Chase after her before it's too late:)

* Like what Shaggy said "it wasn't me"*

Super Duck's picture

I would, but... She's sooooo

I would, but... She's sooooo in the closet that I can't see her responding positively to any advances.

elph's picture

Someone Had to Close...

the italics that ReinbowGrl forgot :(

But... Go for it Super Duck! We knew that (inserted to taunt Chad) these affections were lurking in there... screaming for release!

So... 'Tis the beginning of the next chapter! Huh?

Super Duck's picture

But can I just go for it?

But can I just go for it? She's super deep in the closet...

Super Duck's picture

And actually those may have

And actually those may have been my italics... lol

ferrets's picture

hmmmm

alwyas thought of her like a puppy that is a little bit odd in the head, you know that trips when it runs and chases is own tail, but then when it cacthes it, it cries cuase it bit it to hard.
anyhow, it could be worse, you could have a crush on a straighty, tiss better thats its her, even if she a closeted gay person :D

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

elph's picture

That quote...

Whence?

Super Duck's picture

Haha, that's exactly what

Haha, that's exactly what she's like!

And yeah, I guess it's nice not to have a crush on a straight girl for once... That has happened to me literally every time :(

MacAvity's picture

You are in her closet. You

You are in her closet. You have opened the door to her closet and told us all what's in there. Now all that remains (admittedly the tough part) is for you to drag her out of that closet, even if she kicks and screams.

Super Duck's picture

Haha! But how will I do

Haha! But how will I do that!?

funnyflyby's picture

You shall use Magic.

Seriously, I just felt like posting here because:
1. I feel bad that I didn't comment
2. I want it to show up in Recent Posts again for the sake of those who missed it and for the sake of annoying Super Duck. Sorry, but it's funny!
3. I felt like it
4. Why not?
Wow.woW