Paranoia

centerfielder08's picture

I think I'm paranoid.

Because I just want to ask someone, anyone, how they could possibly want to be with me. I think I'm a raather ugly creature.
And I used to and sometimes still do hate myself. '

I hate admitting this. because i'm open minded toward everyone but myself. so whenever i mess up , i convince myself i failed because the real root of the problem is my homosexuality. and then i start to throw homophobic slurs at myself. i know its rude. and i hate myself for doiing it. but im not sure how to turn it around.

i hope you guys dont hate me. not like i hate me, anyway. i hope you know that this is not how i started out. and maybe eventually the meds will start working.

Comments

centerfielder08's picture

when i dont post i hate

when i dont post i hate myself for not being expressive.
when i post i hate myself for blabbing about everything. its like i dont know how to win.

centerfielder08's picture

im sorry.

im sorry.

funnyflyby's picture

:) :) :)

I'll never, ever hate you. Seems to me like you need another smiley army.
:) :) ;) (: ;) :D :) C: :) :) :) :D :) :) :) :)
Good luck.
Try and stay OK.

ferrets's picture

awwww

i wuff mah buddy :D *tackle hug*

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

lamb_da's picture

You're so beautiful, you

You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pick up line. ;)
btw. you need a couple hugs or more...*BIG OL HUGGLE*

centerfielder08's picture

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. i love

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. i love being tackled by hugs.
:D
^_^ me loves yous.