I think I'm paranoid.
Because I just want to ask someone, anyone, how they could possibly want to be with me. I think I'm a raather ugly creature.
And I used to and sometimes still do hate myself. '
I hate admitting this. because i'm open minded toward everyone but myself. so whenever i mess up , i convince myself i failed because the real root of the problem is my homosexuality. and then i start to throw homophobic slurs at myself. i know its rude. and i hate myself for doiing it. but im not sure how to turn it around.
i hope you guys dont hate me. not like i hate me, anyway. i hope you know that this is not how i started out. and maybe eventually the meds will start working.