Parents

Dracofangxxx's picture

Often, I notice

That the parents who tend to ignore, or are mean to their children, tend to produce the most beautiful and strong of people.

Of course, there's exceptions- Too much, and the kid can just be lazy, a slacker, drug user, etc. Like one of my new friends who did cocaine and heroine until this October.

There's got to be enough contact to the point where they have guidance and know consequences, but enough distance they grow up on their own, enough close-mindedness to grow and harbor secrets.

They push you down, you crawl into your room and pick yourself back up. You don't rely on them.

Anybody else agree with me?

Comments

swimmerguy's picture

Hmmm

Well my parents have pretty well devoted a lot of their time to either ignoring me or yelling at me. I mean, they're not like terrible fucked up drug user parents, but they do have their issues. Not to make them seem bad, but I've been drawing away from them recently.
And I think I'm turning out just fine. But that might be because my swim coach is sometimes a lot more like my mom than my mom is, which diverted me into swimming, which has given me a passion and a reason to live life well and not do stupid things.

No one escapes from life alive

Dracofangxxx's picture

Yup

In fact, you're one of the people I had in mind while writing this, with your mom and all. The way you think and write just inspires me. It's beautiful :)
-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

MacAvity's picture

Disagree!

Although it seems more than reasonable that the way people are treated by their parents would have a tremendous impact on the characters of said people - indeed it seems like it couldn't not - the lack of a significant correlation argues otherwise: There are strong people with neglectful or abusive parents and there are strong people with loving parents; there are weak people with abusive or neglectful parents and there are weak people with loving parents.

I would say that having abusive or neglectful parents proves strength or weakness, but does not cause it. Because my parents are of the loving variety, I have never had the opportunity to be either strong or weak in the way you describe. I don't know which I would be, given the opportunity.

Now, I understand that it's not a perfect dichotomy, it's a spectrum. But even so.

I guess I'm arguing 'nature' over 'nurture.' Sure, you can find a psychological reason, rooted deep in childhood experiences, for everything - but often the same 'reasons' correlate with different results, or the same results with different reasons.

That's my take on it.

The Bookworm's picture

I think I got it good

I think I got it good because I have parents who I trust and love and who play an active role (often by encouraging critical thinking on my part in my life) but my personality is such that I don't really share much of my life with them because I don't share it with anyone, such that I've grown up without too much of their influence and without much reliance on them but if I ever needed them they are there as a safety net.
Then again my mother and I have a very similar neural net (we think (also speak, act, and look) shockingly alike) that sometimes my mother forgets that we are different and sometimes we have "I'm being stubborn and therefore not listening to you" issues. My greatest fear is that I will grow into a person overly similar to my mother.

625539's picture

It either makes you or

It either makes you or breaks you.

nothing is permitted. everything is allowed.

epicfailure's picture

It depends. That's what my

It depends.

That's what my Dad told me when he use to beat me up. I hate him secretly.
My parents were strict and mean to me, but know that I'm getting older they seem to loosen up. They are more caring and less strict towards the younger siblings(who get away with everything). That might be because I'm the oldest (test dummy) and because I'm not his child...I'm the odd one out. Because of them I use to cut myself...use to think I'm useless and hated myself. I fear I've turned colder and I'm afraid of people getting close to me...don't want to get old and cranky when I get older.
For what they've done to me I'm going to let them off lightly, even if the don't deserve it. When I finish school I'm going to slowly loose contact with them. Then I'm going move to another country (canada), change my full name and start a fresh.

* Like what Shaggy said "it wasn't me"*

funnyflyby's picture

I must contribute!

I say, sort of. I think if you are already a bit of a good person that way, and you have bad parents, it can make you better, but parents don't control everything like that. I say that it really depends on the kind of person both you and your parents are, and the circumstances. It isn't a rule, more like an increased probability, if anything.