Daily frustrations.

an_drew's picture

I'm currently supposed to be finishing up some homework. I don't feel like it for multiple reasons, but one thing that bothers me is that my full name is prominently displayed whenever I go to do it. It's online homework, and so it's under my full legal name, the one I gave the college. It's infuriating. I feel depressed when I look at it, like my work is all really someone else's.

And of course, binding hurts, is itchy and uncomfortable, but I'm scared to transition, scared that I'll regret it. Yet I'm binding daily and disguising my feminine features. I'm so frustrated right now. :(

Comments

Uncertain's picture

It's okay I'm guessing

It's okay I'm guessing you're still young right? It's a period to figure things out, even if you change your mind what 'better' time for explore all of that but now? Either way, what you're doing is very brave.

Now go finish your homework :P

an_drew's picture

Yeah, I'm still pretty

Yeah, I'm still pretty young- in college. It is a good time to explore. I just don't want to feel the pain forever.

Okay. :P

Pronouns: he/him/his or zie/hir/hirs, please! :)

funnyflyby's picture

Names

I hate my full original name. I have always, since I could talk, been called by a nickname that's completely gender-neutral, and I hate my original middle name, so I don't consider that my middle name, I have another one that's also gender-neutral, and I've hyphenated my last name so I have 2, my mother's and father's. So originally my initials were JRR, now they're JLC-R. I don't even regcognize when people call me by another name. Nonono. I don't even really consider myself trans, though. More neutral there. Long, random comment. Point is, I hate having to stick with the name you're born with unless you go and legally mess with it.