I REALLY need help, guys...

Siovampire's picture

So the base of this issue is I like a girl who is way younger than me. I'm 18 and she's 14. I know that sounds really creepy because it's bugging me like crazy. I've never ever been interested in anyone even 2 years younger.
But M is so smart...she's in this special academy that's connected to my high school and it's for basically geniuses. She's smart and mature and sweet and funny and totally kickass (she's a 2nd degree black belt in taikwondo).
I really like her....
I feel like a fucking skeez...
She basically told me that she could possibly like me too and that made me so happy but idk...it's illegal...I've not done anything and I don't plan on it...but idk....the 2 friends I've told have both told me to go for it. I'm terrified because A) she's not legal. B) there's a person in our group that wouldn't miss the chance to turn me in to the police as a child molester, even if she was just going on no real evidence. she would do something like that even if she just thought I liked M.
I just want to be with her...I don't want to have sex or even make out with her or anything, honest to god...
I want to put a smile on her face every day...she makes me so happy....my life was dull and monotonous and I felt dead...now I have a reason to get up in the morning! I can go to school and walk her to class and she smiles so softly at me and wraps her arms around my waist and tells me she thinks I'm silly and I just blush and feel happy for the first time in months....
I'm terrified....
help me...please.

Comments

lamb_da's picture

is there anyway you can

is there anyway you can ditch/avoid that person who would turn on you in a heart beat?

You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pick up line. ;)

Siovampire's picture

No, she's on the fencing

No, she's on the fencing team with M and me. We all 3 see each other every day. I hung out with M one on one the other day and basically I was teasing her saying "I'll make you like me cuz you already kinda do!" totally teasing. But then she basically said "Don't because I get emotionally invested and if a girl kissed me I know I'd like it"....so.....ug...*facegrill*

"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground." - Theodore Roosevelt

lamb_da's picture

oh. someone needs a hug...or

oh. someone needs a hug...or two...*superspecialkimihug*

You're so beautiful, you made me forget my pick up line. ;)

Siovampire's picture

*snuggles* :) thank you so

*snuggles* :) thank you so much! special hugs...nothin like 'em.

"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground." - Theodore Roosevelt

ferrets's picture

welll

if your not having sex with her, whats the illegal part?

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

ReinbowGrl's picture

This was my girlfriend and I

This was my girlfriend and I two years ago. I can't give you advice really because I know that I wish I had gone for it then. But I'm 20 now and she's 17. And things between us work amazingly. However, what you need to realize, is that somebody who is 14, really is less mentally devolped than somebody who is 18. Your frontal lobe isn't developed fully until you're 25, and jail isn't a happy place for chi-moes. So even if she is scholastically a genius; she will lack the ability to fully process what's going on, even if you are both fully willing participants. So scratch that, I can give you advice. My advice is to wait. My girl and I have the whole world in eachother's smile. Wait for her to be a bit older. Jail isnt worth it.

- - - - - - - -
I don't need company in the company of you. I don't need love, your love will do. And I've got you and you've got me and this is all you need. I don't need air, I don't need to breathe. I don't need rest, I don't have time to sleep.

Punkish Insanity's picture

Gall,

Age don't matter. If she's at your level mentally, the rest will catch up. Go for what you want, but learn the limits. While nothing bad will happen of it, play the "safe" game that alot of hetero couples play. Like don't go too far, and stay out with friends. Keep it innocent, you know? at least until she's old enough.

Siovampire's picture

Thanks guys...I'm still

Thanks guys...I'm still freaking out...Today was weird with her. Like she was holding back, but she would forget herself and get close and stuff and then pull back. I don't plan on doing anything more than peck kisses, just because I don't really want more than that. I'm terrified that someone will send me to jail >.<
what constitutes statutory rape??!!! or whatever..."doing shit with a minor"?!

"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground." - Theodore Roosevelt

Siovampire's picture

Thanks guys...I'm still

Thanks guys...I'm still freaking out...Today was weird with her. Like she was holding back, but she would forget herself and get close and stuff and then pull back. I don't plan on doing anything more than peck kisses, just because I don't really want more than that. I'm terrified that someone will send me to jail >.<
what constitutes statutory rape??!!! or whatever..."doing shit with a minor"?!

"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground." - Theodore Roosevelt

ShowMeLove's picture

As for your question at the end there:

Every state seems to have it's own laws as to the age and what you can be charged with. Here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America#United_Sta...

No one's heard a single word I've said
They don't sound as good outside my head

Super Duck's picture

I wouldn't think it was

I wouldn't think it was illegal unless you actually had sex with her. I'd definitely advise NOT doing that for a while. I know a girl who's 15 and always has boyfriends who are waaayyy older than her, but they never get sent to jail, I guess because they don't have sex. But could you really prove you weren't having sex with her, though? Hmm...

4 years really isn't all that terrible, though. Sure, at 14 and 18, it may seem like a lot, but 24 and 28 doesn't sound so bad.

Siovampire's picture

I really really really like

I really really really like her...she makes me smile and I haven't in so long....would it get me in serious trouble if I just spent my time making her smile and doting on her?

"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground." - Theodore Roosevelt

625539's picture

if she decides she hates you

if she decides she hates you she could get you for statutory rape...
but between 14 and 18 there is a HUGE difference in mentality, I was in the same situation this summer (though it was 14 and 17, with I the senior)

I really liked him and he made me really happy, but I let him go because everyone was giving us shit + he didn't have the maturity to understand things I was going through.

But I don't regret it, he restored my faith in people and in love for a while.

eyes slanted like blinking lullabies

ShowMeLove's picture

That's a tough situation to be in...

I found an article on exactly this and the writer was giving the 14 year old advice on what to do in the situation. If you're interested it's here: http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/youth/a/14andinLove.htm

She raises an important possibility. If the girl you like's mother isn't okay with the relationship she could also get you into trouble.

You sound so happy, though! It sucks that there has to be such an age gap between the two of you. My advice would be stay far away from sex. Enjoy the hand holding, pecking, and cuddling, for now.

No one's heard a single word I've said
They don't sound as good outside my head

Siovampire's picture

I had also considered the

I had also considered the possibility of her mom turning me in. We hung out for the first (and only, so far) time last weekend and apparently her mom had said stuff like "I better not hear about anything happening" "Your father better not find out" (basically that shes with a lesbian) and "there had better not be any experimenting"
she's a fucking scary lady.
and i looked it up, 14 yr olds can give consent to anyone up to 4 years older, "a 14 year old can have sex lawfully with any person up to age 18" does that INCLUDE 18 year olds?
and i'm even more petrified now, but also falling more into it...today I was comforting her because she had a bad day and i had my arms around her and she nuzzled into my shoulder, then later i picked her up and she wrapped her legs around me and i held her so tight and she buried her face in my neck and...ug....

"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground." - Theodore Roosevelt