Inner Turmoil

smile17's picture

I have been questioning my sexuality since I was a freshmen in highschool. At the time, I was living an extremely sheltered life. I had very overprotective parents, and I had a school environment where abnormalities, in particularly that of sexual preference, were just not talked about. I didn't know the concept of homosexuality even existed untill I had gone through an entire year of confused fear and depression. I thought something was wrong with me. My parents attitude toward it made me feel worse. Because I spent so long not accepting reality, here I am at nineteen with absolutely no idea who I am. I am still ashamed of the way I feel because i was taught to feel that way, but I can't go on this way. I have no idea where to go from here. I guess I just needed to get this out. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions and there is nothing I can do about it. Being ripped apart by emotions that I can't contol and having no clue what to do to make it better........... (to be cont.)

kiko's picture

accept yourself

follow your own direction
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lonewolf678's picture

hmm.

it is easier said than done, i would think. afterall it is a process.

swimmerguy's picture

Wow!

Let's hear it for the 3 week old dormant forum topic! :)
Just givin ya a hard time.

No one escapes from life alive

MacAvity's picture

Hello!

First off, Welcome to Oasis!

It's amazing how quickly you can lose the confusion and shame once you get here. Just write what you think, what you feel, what you do, and know that somewhere people are reading it and empathising and wishing you the best. And, if you like, read what other people have written - you'll see what a great bunch of queers we are, and your own shame will diminish. You'll see.

And again, welcome. It's good to have you here, Smile.

centerfielder08's picture

welcome. i can relate to a

welcome.
i can relate to a lot of it.
the depression, overprotective parents, sheltered life, etc.
Pm me if you want. i dont mind talking . love meeting new ppl on here.

funnyflyby's picture

Welcome

And good luck. Since I don't see lamb_da here, *big hugs*. Feel free to journal, pm, etc.
I don't really know what to say that they ↑ didn't already. But yes.

centerfielder08's picture

WOAH. how did you do that

WOAH. how did you do that arrow? the up arrow? ive never seen taht before. woah.

centerfielder08's picture

sorry. naturally, im the one

sorry. naturally, im the one to steer things off topic :/

funnyflyby's picture

Teehee.

I have all sorts of weird symbols available on the DSi. The full list:!?&″'~:;@~_+-*/×÷=→←↑↓「」“”()<>{}•%※〒#♭♪±$¢£\^°|/\∞∴…™©® A bunch of those are on a normal keyboard, but those are them all. My favorite is ※.

centerfielder08's picture

sweetnesses.

sweetnesses.

funnyflyby's picture

YAYYYY!

You're still on! Your name was gone from the users, and I was all sad. (I'm obsessive! Yay!) But you're here! ※ :D ;D ;) :)
Is the deliriousity setting in again? Oh, no...

centerfielder08's picture

I'm obsessive too.! :D Can

I'm obsessive too.! :D Can we be obsessively obsessive together?haha.

HAH.yay.

YES. deliriousity is fun. wow.thats an odd word...deliriousity.

oh and i found this looks really awesome, i just happened to randomly type it earlier and its sweet.... (see below)

Wow.woW

funnyflyby's picture

Wow.woW

THAT'S SO COOL!!! Deliriousity... yes on the obsessive part. Hey, can I fool around with this a while?
Wow.woW
→Wow.woW←
※Wow.woW※
「Wow.woW」

→woW.Wow←
※woW.Wow※
「woW.Wow」
Oh, I'm so sorry. What started as a serious topic has now become Wow.woW. Oops.
You know, I think I like the original the best. Can I use it as a signature?
the best. Can I use it as

centerfielder08's picture

Sure :). Yeah, I like how it

Sure :). Yeah, I like how it looks, too. Its fun!