Although it pains me greatly to post thrice in the span of four and twenty hours, this truly merits immediate note.
I just came out to my parents!
They were trying to persuade me to play cards, then demanded an explanation of my point-blank refusal. After a lot of circum-bush-beating, and mumbles, and silences of extreme awkwardness, I managed to get out something to the general effect of 'I couldn't learn to play cards even for her, so I will not do it for anybody else.' This in turn had explanation demanded... and eventually, through long questioning, they learned the truth of how I had felt about the her in question. They were not in the least surprised - I hadn't expected them to be, but even so. I also explained that the reason I hadn't told them sooner was that I had been more ashamed of the closet itself than of its contents. I've been trying, for a while, rather weakly, to pretend that I had never been in the closet at all, but was telling them the truth as I figured it out myself, but even that turned out to have been needless. They were just as understanding of my reluctance to tell them about my gayness as they were accepting of said gayness itself.
Of course, this does nothing to alleviate my life of the gaping hole left by the conspicuous absence of a best friend character or any such personage... but I'm going to consciously ignore that particular hole right now, and savor the moment of final declosetation! declosetment! declosetude! whatever the blasted word is!