Panic attacks.

an_drew's picture

I'm having one right now. I know because my breathing feels more strained, and I can't concentrate. I know that I'm panicking because of a couple of things. The biggest one right now is probably, surprisingly, not the paper I have due in like an hour. It's actually feminism.

I'm trying to be a feminist. I've identified as one but last night I didn't stop friends from making rape jokes when I should have, and I put up with a few trans and homophobic jokes too. I love Firefly, or loved it, but now I'm seeing that there were a lot of sexist things in the show. But the person pointing out the sexism also said drag was offensive, and sort of sounded transphobic, and that hurt. And I'm feeling like a failure of a man and a woman and a human being, and my breathing is short, and I'm scared. I'm very scared.

I know I need to remember that I currently have an A in this class, and taking a moment to breathe is not wrong. But ajkfdlajdsf;asfa aaaaah.

Comments

cheese's picture

I hate getting panic

I hate getting panic attacks. they're the worst. and lately they've been getting more frequent, bt mine are more cause of my panic disorder than anything else. i find that telling yourself everything is going to be ok and just saying positive things in general helps alot. sorry you feel so bad about the whole feminist thing. :\

"i remember when you and me, how we used to be such good friends. wouldnt give me none, when all i wanted was some..."-jack johnson

Uncertain's picture

Hello smarty pants

Oh haii there. I used to feel like if I were to be a good person, a good gay even, I had to live up to certain principles consistently - like being the gay joke police 24/7... otherwise it's the end of the world. But that's not how it works right? The first thing you have to realise is to decide whether their views are even worth changing, and secondly most people mature as they get older so no point wasting time now. Finally, what's the best way to approach things - you're only going to tire yourself out if you beat yourself up over every thing that's said... sometimes a more meaningful way of resistance is to take the joke or turn the joke around, or take ownership of it. Very hard thing to do but it comes with practice. What you're doing is even better, focusing on grades and showing being trans is not limited by boundaries. I think that's a much more effective way of long term resistance against those stereotypes and labels. Take care alright

And don't forget to breathe :P

centerfielder08's picture

I'm here for ya man. (sorry

I'm here for ya man.
(sorry for me coming in super late on this one :p