quick, random journal

centerfielder08's picture

Quick mention before I go to sleep and forget I wanted to write about this....
in therapy the other day, the woman leading said to me:
Woman: (Insert birth name, GIRL name, here), why did you take 6 painkillers?
Me: I ....uhm...had...really...bad.....(then here I had what felt like a 10 minute pause, you know, that part in the movies where its all slow-motion and they play that music so you KNOW something important is going on but you havent been clued in just quite yet)...cramps.
(then i went on how i didnt take all 6 at once, just throughout the course of the day.

So embarrasing. tell everyone i'm a girl why don't you.

oh and we have to fill in these sheets and i havent been writing my name. it says NAME:___________ and i've been leaving it blank. because I dont want to write a girl name there. is that so bad? and then i see the group leader scribble down my name when she comes to my paper, recognizing the handwritng. is there anyway i can be Eli without like messing up the worlds perfection?

please tell me there is.
goodnight, oasis.


lonewolf678's picture


you can be Eli. you be who you are, you are good. there will be opposition, just like opposition against me and others. but you can overcome the bad and triumph and be with the good. keep being who you are.

625539's picture

Your name's Eli, so write

Your name's Eli, so write it
don't apologize for who you are,
and the world's imperfections are what make it so beautiful.

"pleasure is absolute, pain is relative."

BeachKingxx's picture


who cares if they find out, eli is your name so wear it proudly. if anyone asks about it just tell them its a name you earned.

loreonpravus's picture

Let's take something random.

Let's take something random. Like... a dragonfly. Picture a dragonfly in your head. Got that?

So take this organism you've pictured in your head and pretend it has no label. Now, I can call this dragonfly a buffalo, or an elephant, or a hamster, but it's still a dragonfly, right?

That's just my botched analogy. The question here is, what's stopping you from just writing Eli? Correct me if I'm wrong but this seems to be another coming out that you'll have to face, but whatever it is, we'll be here every step of the way.

funnyflyby's picture


Dingdingding, I agree with loreonpravus. Anyway, this isn't really the same thing, but:
In fourth grade I decided I wanted to hyphenate my last name, so I'd have both my mother's and father's last names. Together they seem to fit me more; they also sound really good together :) ;D :D ;)
Anyway, in 4th grade I started writing my version of my name on all my papers, independently of anything official, what I was known as, etc. And... people started calling me by the new version, which is my name, birth certificate or not. Nobody questions that.
To get to the point, you're more likely to be called Eli if you identify on papers and such as Eli. The end.