So... a half-failure of coming out to Other and Clueless Friends?

funnyflyby's picture

Well, I am unsure of whether I have failed or suceeded. It's... interesting. Well, I was planning to see if I could get together with Other and Clueless (who really need new names) today to come out to them, and I sorta did... Well, today I decided to do away with gender-specific pronouns as much as possible, and refer to everyone as 'gaj', male or female or gajindiak. Yay for gajindiakism. So, we all went to Other's house and goofed around harmlessly for a while, then went to see the 'variety show' some performancey-types at our school were in. My main reason for wanting to go was that a certain girl whose birthday was a week ago was in the show... but, whatever.
Once there, I started babbling nervously about how I wondered what gaj was doing, and I couldn't wait to see it, etc. etc. See, I'm trying to make it easier to lead in to what I wanted to say. Finally, Clueless turned to me and said, "Are you a lesbian?"
"Um... well, that's not really possible as I'm a gajindiak, huh? And lesbian has to be female? But..." I trailed off.
"Wait. You know 'bisexual'?" (Um, yes, I was there when YOU learned what that meant. Duh.)
"Well, including gajindiak wouldn't it be trisexual?"
And then the show started. So we shut up for a moment. Between acts, I whispered to Clueless, "I think all gajindiaks are trisexual."
Gaj stared at me kind of disturbingly, and the show started again.
(Note: Other is sitting in front of us and has been listening to the conversations, remaining strangely silent.)
With my incredible luck, the girl-whose-birthday-was-a-week-ago is in the last act, and just so you know gaj's an incredible singer. Wow. At the end of gaj and gaj friend's song, I leaned over and stage-whispered to Other and Clueless, "Gajindiaks are DEFINITELY trisexual."
Clueless: "You HAD to say that while my phone was recording!"
So.... I freaked out and made Clueless delete several other things, too. Which distracted from the topic. By the time that conversation was done, Other's parents were there and we all shut up. The rest of the night it wasn't discussed so much. One remark from Other, "Gaj's obsessed with -b-day's name-", and then we all (parents included) got in a conversation about how a friend of Other's is a transgirl and then it turned to gender in general, and I explained the concept of 'gajindiak' to Other's parents, excluding the 'attracted to' part.
So... Other's mother's reaction: "So, that makes gajindiaks asexual, right?"
"Um, no. Not always. Gajindiakness is seperate from sexuality."
(Which is only a little bit true.)
So I decided I needed to clarify that to Other and Clueless, as I'm still relatively unsure as to whether they are actually aware I came out or not. I emailed them both, and it included a death threat if they forwarded it to anybody. So, email was probably a bit risky but... what's done is done. And that's the world. So... I'm a little confused.
Let's hear it for long, rambly journals!


centerfielder08's picture

:) Have you heard from them

Have you heard from them since?

I've had similar coming outs where its like I came out partly but then afterward found out I need to kind of re-come out.

Have you figured out what they are thinking (as in, if you came out or not)?

centerfielder08's picture



funnyflyby's picture

Thank you!

I haven't heard back yet, and I'm not really sure if they got the message or not. My guess is that Clueless did, as I chased her around, managed to grab the phone from her, and deleted everything that could've possibly been what recorded me. I don't think Other caught on at all. (Yet another example of how Other's actually more clueless than Clueless! I'd call them by initials as is customary, but they have the same first initial. )
But thank you.

Punkish Insanity's picture


Congrats with telling your friends!

The Bookworm's picture

Brilliant! I'm glad

Brilliant! I'm glad everything went well.
With my friends, though, I always had to come out a lot more directly because they either caught on really quickly or got really hopelessly confused and asked either a) if I was crushing on a girl, b) lesbian, or c) "What on earth are you trying to say?" C being most frequent.

MacAvity's picture

I'm surprised they took it

I'm surprised they took it so well. If indeed they understood what you meant and took you seriously.

Wish I could be a gajindiak...

funnyflyby's picture


I think that their reactions were somewhat limited by us being in a public place in the middle of a show, which was my intention. Though it is a bit shocking that nobody said/did anything awful. I still haven't heard back from them, and while I think Clueless has some idea Other is...-clueless? Probably. World, please clarify...