So, now we all pretend I posted this yesterday, yes?

funnyflyby's picture

So... I can get away with posting another journal in three hours or so? Seriously, this is ALL about yesterday, I wrote this out in my brain yesterday, but for reasons that will be explained in a moment I couldn't post it yesterday. So... let's pretend it's 19-20-10. Tiiime machiiine...
So, I've been annoyed all day because my mother refuses to refer to me as a gajindiak and stop calling me 'she'. We went to my grandparents' house for some reason, and I basically explained the idea of 'gajindiak' to my grandmother minus the 'attracted to' part because...that's awkward and for some reason nobody asks. Anyway, my grandmother was fine with it 100%, so why isn't my mother?
I asked gaj tonight (19/20, remember) and it led to a looong conversation about genderness. Basically my mother asked me a lot of questions to see if I was trans, and I pretended I knew ohsolittle about transness. I said I was pretty much androgynous to the point of gajindiak. My mother still won't say 'gaj' now, but will refer to me by my (gender-neutral) first name instead of any 3rd person pronouns about me at all. Which is an improvement.
Now, this journal wasn't posted last night because my mother ALSO accused me of 'doing something on the Internet at night you don't want me to see.' Umumum... "Mom! You don't trust me?" Tactics. "No, it's just good parenting. You know Internet safety, though, right? You don't say anything about your life to random strangers." they may not really be kids, don't give out personal info, etc. And I had to promise I wasn't doing anything on the Internet at night with the DSi I didn't want gaj to know about. I lied.
"I know you've gotten quite adept at fibbing to your father, Funnyflyby. I just want to make sure I can still trust you." Ohno. So... no Oasis last night. I'll have to be much more careful about Oasisizing when at my mother's house in the future. And that future includes all of winter break.So,anyway,I'm at my dad's house now. And I feel guilty...


centerfielder08's picture

AW. hugs! How was it telling

AW. hugs!
How was it telling your gramma about gaj-ness?

:/ Wow. That sounds...intense. What kinds of knowledge did you have to pretend not to know about transness?

:( . Boo.
Maybe its just me, but I find this semi-ironic, because the word Oasisizing sounds so...odd, that when I read that part about you having to be more cautious when Oasisizing I thought...uh-oh. :/ hehe.

Anyway, we'll be here for you and all that blahblahblah when you're next able to check in here :). 'Tis sad about what your Mom said, but at least she didn't take away your dsi or anything. That would be...really bad. And sad :/

funnyflyby's picture


Tis a momentous occasion.
But thank you so much. I basically had to sit there and wait while my mother explained about how some people feel trapped in the gender body they have, there's an operation, etc. And when I said to gaj that I'm a gajindiak, not female, my mother asked me if I thought I'd be happier as a boy. I said it would be pretty mcuh exactly the same, etc. etc.
My grandmother was basically saying that everybody has bits of both genders in their brains and it wasn't anything special that I did, but I finally got through. And gaj was fine with it, so go figure.
Today my mother keeps forgetting, but has actually called me 'gaj' a couple times. Progress! Now I've just got to get the rest of the world to...
*hugs back*