God, you guys are going to *love* this friend I have neglected to tell you about.
Super Duck thinks she is hilarious, and we both agree that she just might possibly be a clone of FCG.
...Considering she's in the closet, totally into me, and is in my French Class.
For all intrensic purposes I would LOVE to call her FCG but even if I have permission, that would be stealing! So I shall call her... T-rex. Yes. In fact, that little quote in my title is directly from her.
Now, let's start at the beginning of this ADVENTURE. I used to go talk to her in the back of the room when she sat by my best friend. And then, we got our seats switched and I sit RIGHT in front of her.
Well she seems to have taken a liking to me, because she started out staring at me. Every. Day.
"Shelby, I'm just gonna STARE at you ALL DAY. I'll just STARE AT THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD!"
at first, I thought it was just being weird.
She has this, this, THING, for touching me. She likes to randomly reach over and play with my hands or my fingers, or poke my elbow (I hear it's all the rage nowadays) and I'll just say "Hey, you know, if you want to hold my hand, it's totally cool with me"
Then she'll go "OUGH, THAT'S GROSSS. NO WAY." and she'll put her hand down
but get this
our fingers are still touching! and she's blushing a little bit and smiling and I just sort of chuckle to myself. Ah-hah-hah-hah. Like that.
So I started to tease her about liking me, just because I thought it was fun. And she started to stop telling me it wasn't true. Now, it's getting particularily worse lately, her little... Uh, shall we call them "quirks".
We watched this one movie that SUCKED in French. My teacher would skip past all the naked lady and sex scene stuff. Now, T-rex, would seriously look me in the eye and go "I AM TOTALLY GOING HOME TO WATCH THOSE PARTS. Oh uh, you know, just because we're not allowed to in class..."
Sure T-rex. Sure.
and then, she is ALWAYS the MAN in French, because she always picks the male person in the convo. So I started teasing her about it.
"T-rex, why are you always the man? Are you trying to make it so your religion doesn't hate you because you love me?"
"No! No. I'm not a man! HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN MY BOOBS AND VAGINA IF I'M A MAN"
"OH MY GOD T-REX, DON'T EVEN SAY THAT WORD, it's creepy when you do"
"WHAT? VAGINA? WHY CAN'T I SAY VAGINA?"
"T-REX, JUST STOP. JUST STOP RIGHT NOW BEFORE I DIE"
and then she turns to my other friends
and is like
"GUUUYS I don't get it, I tried to tell Shelby that I'm not man because I have a vagina, and I don't get it! What's so bad about vagina?"
WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT VAGINA
YOU tell MEEE, T-rex!!!
So yeah, today, she was doing her usual staring-at-me and randomly touching me thing and I do my usual of pushing her books off her desk (Whoopsies, almost said boobs instead of books. Well not that I wouldn't enjoy that ;D) and she got her usual mad, pouty face on (With the little smile behind it) and was like "SHELBY! STOOOP! Stop it RIGHT NOW. BAD DOG." and I said "If I stop, what will you give me?"
oh my Jesus I might have jizzed myself at the answer
"Woah. Woah, everything? Anything and everything I want???"
I SWEAR I MUST HAVE TURNED LIKE, KOOL-AID MAN RED.
Then I tried stealing her pencil and she WENT TO BITE ME. Yeah, that's right. Bite me. Kinky, eh? That one's more of weird, less flirty.
But, the best thing is, she said she wants to get a dog.
To that, I just said "Yeahhh, I know you want me to be your bitch, but there's an easier way to do this, T-rex".
So now, she tells me I'm a bad dog whenever I make her mad, or as she describes it, "Makes her blood pressure rise"
Oh young love <3 It's adorable when they don't know what it is.
She drew a frownie face on my hand once, stroked it, and then drew a happy face. Somehow I think this is a ninja way of her telling me she loves to touch me.
I called her my Freakazoid today, and she said "Oh, I'm everyone's freakazoid"
Nah, she's mine. Heh. Hehehe. She also was like "SHELBY, have you ever been in my room?"
"Oh yeah. Cuz you haven't been over yet. Well there's this BIG RAINBOW painted on my wall and it's SUPER PRETTY"
(She's SO straight, like, I am so convinced after that one. No way in Hell she's gay, right?)
And today, for a finale sort of thing, she was in the midst of telling me she hates me (while smiling, of course) and I saw her writing something on paper that was huge and not part of her French notes.
It said, in French, I adore you.
She looked at me, blushed, and said "So what if I adore you? Is that bad?"
I chuckled, smiled, and said, "No. No, it's perfectly fine." and turned around.
So what do you think?
She says she's Christian and that gays are wrong (While she doesn't hate them) and I asked her why she never dates boys and she told me "I would like boys, but all the ones I know are icky" or something to that effect.
My T-Rex XD...