All these unintentionally gender-segregated places!

funnyflyby's picture

I'm doing pretty at avoiding the segregated bathrooms so far, if I do say so myself. *takes a bow* I've used two ladies' rooms and two men's rooms since I've started. So proud.
Why is it that so many groups of people automatically organize themselves by sex? I mean, I walk into the huge school cafeteria and you can point to pretty much any table and say if it's a 'girl's or guy's table'. Sure there are a couple mixed ones, maybe… two? Plus the odd boyfriend and girlfriend together, etc. But RARELY.
So I looked down at the table I usually sit at with Clueless, Shneer, Gennifer, Other and a couple other guys. I'm always so happy that I don't need to feel all gender-awkward. But I looked down and saw all the girls sitting on my left, all the guys on my right. I kind of… got angry. After I was through yelling at them all, I sat down directly in the middle of the two sides. Gennifer said that I was right, anyway, and moved to the equivalent poisition across from me. Gennifer gets bonus points. Then a boy (who is usually rather intelligent-seeming) has to say, 'But Flyby! Why aren't you aren't on either side?'
Everybody stared at me for a moment, then started laughing crazily. Gah.
After, Clueless came over to my house (GRR!) and proceeded to make fun of 'gajindiak' WITH MY MOTHER. Oh, c'mon…
'Soon she'll realize that she doesn't need to invent a word for herself! There already is one, 'girl'!'
'HA, exactly! There's no such thing as a gaj!'
I glared. For a long time. I doubt they noticed. AAAAAAGH!
I don't actually feel like journaling right now, but I'll regret it if I don't. Sorry. My writing's all awkward.
On a side note, my Latin class is emulating MacAvity's. Four different people independently voiced wishes to go start a Carthage, and I got 3 Random Phrases:
'Are pomegranates generally a vain fruit?'
'Flyby, why would you ever marry a hamster?'
'I invented the name Domino! It's Greek!'



Uncertain's picture

Hopefully without sounding

Hopefully without sounding patronising, people at your age do tend to be more immature. Gennifer seems special in the way that she's insightful and tolerant in that way. But you'll find the majority will be like Clueless, and there's no point in beating yourself up about it. I do have to say from experience it is something to do with age -although some people never grow out of it. At least have some consolation in the fact that you're probably braver, more tolerant and more of an individual than the other people you know.

As for the gender divide... I'm trying to remember what it was like for me. I think at my school it wasn't quite as bad - but I guess it does break down once people get older or begin knowing each other better throughout the year.

- Uncertain/Cho

Super Duck's picture

Maybe it's not intentional.

Maybe it's not intentional. It could just be their group of friends. I didn't have any guy friends at school until like, the 8th grade. Even now, my number of friends that are girls is far more than my number of friends that are guys. My table is like, 90% girls, but that's just kind of how it worked out.

When I was in 6th-7th grade, no one except the popular kids really had many friends of the opposite gender.

Riku's picture

That was pretty insensitive

That was pretty insensitive to be making jokes about you like that. :[

I never really noticed gender segregation at lunch really. I guess there was some of that, but I'm kinda used to being the "token dude" because I hang around artists which are mostly female for some reason.

I don't think it was ever intentional in my groups of friends though... *shrugs* I guess we didn't ever have enough guys in my groups of friends for it to be intentional.

funnyflyby's picture


Yeah, you guys are right... it's just that I've always been kind of proud my friends are above that. I mean, at that table, there's about equal guys and girls, and we all know and like each other. So then they all seperate, too, and it's just... blehness.

Thanks to Cho, Super Duck, and Riku!

loreonpravus's picture

Actually, my lunch group is

Actually, my lunch group is pretty mixed. That's probably why I hang out with them... no girly bitch-fests, no excess testosterone rushes. Perfect.

My appearance comes off as pretty androgynous; this is why I despise washrooms. Sometimes when I walk into the washroom and it's full of straight girls being straight, I feel like I've walked into the wrong one, but I've never used a guys' washroom (nor do I want to, really).

MacAvity's picture

- Your segregated bathroom

- Your segregated bathroom record is identical to mine... weird... but congratulations (if I do say so myself?).

- That's really funny about your Latin class. Every day I gather a few more things to add to the Random Phrases list as soon as I accumulate enough of them.

- As to the serious matters... It's like Uncertain said. People do mature, and 'you're probably braver, more tolerant and more of an individual than the other people you know.' However, and most unfortunately, most people will never mature enough to change their polarized language (I would have said binary, but that's already something else...) that has been in place for hundreds of years to suit the needs of one individual - even one they love very much. Don't throw away love just because somebody uses the wrong words.

I haven't had the courage to request that anyone call me anything other than female - I'm proud of you for taking that chance, even if it doesn't ultimately work out the way we all might wish.

funnyflyby's picture

Thank you!

See, I feel that I should respond, but I don't really know what to say, so... thank you!
Congratulations on the bathrooms to you, too... huh.
I plan to write down all these Random Phrases at some point. That will be great.
I appreciate the last part, too... I'm just having trouble thinking of what, exactly, to say. I'll just stick with 'Thank you!' for now.