Today was blissfully amazing. I had lots of free time and thus lots of time spent with Wren.
I was freaking out about my spanish test. “I’m going to fail” I said. “I think you’ll do well.” en (gender neutral pronoun) said. “Thanks, but I’m probably going to fail” En looks me in the eye, takes both my hands in ens and says “I think you’re going to be just fine.” My heart melted. Usually when I lack self-confidence people either believe or agree with me.
It’s so wonderful just to be near en. Some friends of ours had attached an i-pod to speakers and we were having a dance party in our section of the hall (any resemblance to failed nation-states controlled tribally is strictly coincidental) and a song came on “And when I see your face/ there’s not a thing that I would change/cause I think you’re amazing/ just the way you are.” and en had ens arms wrapped loosely around my waist and I brushed ens bangs out of ens eyes (which is rather a habit of mine) and en smiled at me and I felt “this is true” both the song and the moment and en had an expression that told me en was thinking that as well.
I’ve just about finalized parental permission to have en over for dinner in about 2 weeks. That took a lot.
The other day a friend of mine (senior) who runs the GSA asked me if en were together and then got really, really happy and excited for us when I said we are. That’s the first time that has happened, as all our friends have known about us for a long time and though we don’t hide it no one else has asked. It was a good feeling.
I still have warmth in the pit of my core radiating from being near en so much today (friday schedules are odd and this one was odder)
En's been binding and it looks amazing. En hasn't told me this but I hug en enough that I can tell. Also en says en is "gender non-applicable" which is good to know. Sometimes I feel we don't talk about stuff that's on our minds.
God I love my life.