I figured out, finally, why my words have been jammed in my throat, and why my tears lept down my face like parachuters. And perhaps it is best this way, because it tears me away from you. I remembered, you see, the way you used to love me before, yes; I also remembered the way you had hated. The way you had carried on without me, finding a replacement.
I remember how you used to make fun of me and say snide comments under your breath.
I remember the way you used to avoid me at all costs, and the way you would lash out at everyone.
I remember how unhappy you were.
But mostly, I remember how, also, happy you were with her. Was it because you loved her more, or because she was the only one who accepted you after that?
Don't answer that.
And now, I remember how it felt, and I am fearful. It could happen again, so easily I can see you slipping into that and never again would you love me.
And I'm scared.
You aren't as vocally sweet as you used to be, and it worried me. Am I beautiful? Am I funny? Am I amazing?
I don't know.
I wish you'd say.
Everytime I think about it, I cry now. I am trying to hold onto you, a memory that once was and yet, forgetting another memory of you I cannot forgive.
Something isn't right with my heart, and I need to clear it. If I could only tell you this myself, only speak with you as I wish, I could.
...But I know I'd seem too obsessed, or too controlling. You'd misunderstand.
I don't know what to do. You say you don't know what you'd do without me. You said it before, and what you did was hate me. Did you hate me, because you didn't want to let me go?
Have you always loved me, and that's why you pushed me away so strong?
I fear. I am human and I love, I hurt, I care.
Why couldn't I have stayed feeling like this?
Anyways, as you can see, I'm not great. But I'm good. Like, I can draw , but I'm not AMAZING.
Just wanted to show you guys.