Get Outside.Now.

centerfielder08's picture

Outside it is beautiful. The sky is a light blue with light purple stripes. Looks like the trans pride flag. Maybe that's just my weird associations again.

Anyway, I did it....I came out. It was scary.

Oh, and I put "measure myself" as my goal for therapy (didn't explain it was for a binder), especially since today, I haven't been binding too long but already my back aches a lot.

Comments

kamkam's picture

Good for you

I think its so great that you came out. Even if it was scary. :)

Meldiseus's picture

Hey!!!

Hey that's great(^_^). Congrats.
How did it come out? Did you two drift over to a similar topic and it came out? or was it a desision that you had been thinking about for a while?
I wish you all the hapiness you can have.(^_^)

All for one, and one for all. Three Musketeers
Never give up, never surrender. Tim Alen in Galaxy Quest
Life is full of beginnings and endings, and right now I'm kinda in the middle. this is from me(^_^)

arata13's picture

congratz on coming

congratz on coming out!
[qouteMeldiseus]How did it come out? Did you two drift over to a similar topic and it came out? or was it a desision that you had been thinking about for a while?[/qouteMeldiseus]

centerfielder08's picture

Thanks (and thanks). It was

Thanks (and thanks).

It was to someone who leads my therapy group, she just started to work with our group so she wasn't told about "my situation" when the other workers/staff people there were notified. I asked to talk to her at break but I chickened out. so I mentioned it as my goal to say my secret. Anyway, after everyone left, I met her over at her office. And I was all like "Mrah.mrah..." and being all awkward and then I said, "Okay, so I came out a few years ago as a lesbian to my parents. And I think some people in group know about that but not this. Anyway, I uh...(then I mentioned how I already told the other staff people and blahblahblah)...I think I identify more with the (include what felt like a ten minute pause) male gender..."
Anyway, she said "I used to work at a lgbt place. I'm not gay, though that would be a good time for me to say it...." Anyway, she was totally on board with it. And so great about it. Then she said something I hope to never forget..."gender is not just one or the other." And I wanted to say OHMYGOODNESS,MARRYME,PLEASE?! But I held back. And she said that if I want to talk about it with her I can its just that she doesn't know as much as an actual gender therapist.
I want to take her up on that offer. Your thoughts?
Anyway, I also said that I'm not out (as trans, but am out as lesbian), blahblahblah. I'm out to my group, most of 'em anyway, as lesbian.

Then she must be an ally. She used to work at this gender clinic near my house. AREYOUSERIOUS?! I LOVE YOU. No, but seriously, this was amazing. I felt loved. And for one of the first few times since I came out to myself as trans I felt loved and not like I'd be kicked to the dirt and dragged behind.

Which reminds me...people seem to think there's no such thing as coming out to yourself? Gimme a break. Its not the easiest thing (FAR from it) to find this out. Its so hard to come out to one's self.

And she said about how a person needs to be sure they're safe before they come out. AHhhhhhhhh HUGS. I love that. I love that conversation I had with her. Ahead of time I felt sick to my stomach, doesn't help I have a sore throat and had been binding for hours, but for some reason I was fearful that she wouldn't be a person that believes there are genders outside the gender binary. I was pleasantly surprised. I wish everyone had someone like her.

I hope I'm not dragging on too long and boring you guys. I have more to say about her and the conversation and such. Tell me if you wanna hear.

Wow, ESPN's (PTI) had a topic just titled "Eli." YES.

Meldiseus's picture

Sure(^_^)

I'd love to hear more(^_^).
Partly because she seems really nice and partly because you've been listening and helping me a lot and I'd like to return the favor.

All for one, and one for all. Three Musketeers
Never give up, never surrender. Tim Alen in Galaxy Quest
Life is full of beginnings and endings, and right now I'm kinda in the middle. this is from me(^_^)

arata13's picture

*would like to hear more as

*would like to hear more as well*

I find it awesome that you told her when she just started to work with you guys. Kind of sounds like a leap of faith to me. Not entirely sure if I'd do it... but idk.... xD

MacAvity's picture

Wonderful news! Yaaayyy!

Wonderful news! Yaaayyy! (Hug.)

loreonpravus's picture

Very proud of ya. What more

Very proud of ya. What more can I say?

centerfielder08's picture

Sorry for such a wishy-washy

Sorry for such a wishy-washy response (I'm apologizing for this in advance), but what shall I talk about when you said you wanted to hear more? I mean, maybe its just a sense of laziness setting in at this moment, but its easier if I work with more direct things rather than blank, open/empty space (I hate picking one word when I feel as though more than just one fits). Shall I expand, for example, on my feelings before/during/after? Or more of my thoughts? Or the actual dialogue?

arata13...yeah, it was a crazy leap now that I think of it, too. for some reason, she sort of came across like...well, I wasn't sure how she'd be, accepting or not. I wasn't too terribly worried, however, I wasn't thinking she was an ally, either.

MacAvity--Thanks, and hugs baaack.
Loreonpravus---YAY. thanks.

funnyflyby's picture

Morehugs!

YAYYYYYY!!!!!!
Par-tay!
I'm sorry I'm so late! I was busy pming you! Why did you not mention it?!
Nono, I'M marrying this person. I may have finally found somebody non-Oasis who believes in gajindiaks!

YAY FOR ELI!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow.woW

BeachKingxx's picture

dfgndlfjnglk wow omg dude!

dfgndlfjnglk wow omg dude! i'm so proud of you for coming out :D

Punkish Insanity's picture

CON-GRAD-U-LATIONS DUDE!!!!

CON-GRAD-U-LATIONS DUDE!!!! You have singlehandedly just made your path through life brighter. And an added plus is that you get girls more easily ;D haha

~ It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me.