Okay, c'mon guys.

Dracofangxxx's picture

Two journals in one day? I haven't done this since I was a newbie on here :I But Loreonpravus got me thinkin'

But I have to talk to you guys about something. All you people who have known me on Oasis for a long time, which is barely any of you anymore, know I'm not always this raging bitch.

But you know what? I'm getting increasingly annoyed with Oasis, and everyone on here. Not one person specifically, but the group as a whole.

When I first joined, I was just like the typical Oasis joinee- Very enthused, very excited, albeit some problems. I was really depressed and trying to figure myself out. I tried to keep things happy, though. I made friends.

I remember this atmosphere- I had 27 or something welcome comments. Just welcome comments! Everyone was so friendly. There were a bunch of senior members who did alot of posting- Jeff was more prevalent, Elph was still here and commenting on everything, Pat was writing his books and being a father figure. It was great. Everyone was happy, pleasant, and awesome.

Maybe that's just how I remember it.

But now, this Oasis isn't at all like I remembered it. This doesn't seem to be that happy, welcoming, everyone-comments-on-everything-and-knows-everyone atmosphere we had. Sure, some things are the same- Super Duck and FCG live on, Elph is kind, Swimmerguy loves his swimming, Ferrets loves his Ferrets, Magic Fantastic writes beautiful things, you know.

But what happened to the rest? Jeff is practically nonexistant. We get steady streams of new members, so much that I don't have that feeling of the "One Oasis family" anymore. Everyone complains. I rarely see a happy journal anymore, the forum is absolutely dead. Would it KILL YOU GUYS to say something positive? I am dead tired of reading the same thing- BAWW THEY CALLED ME GAY, BAWW THIS PERSON DOESN'T NOTICE ME, BAWW I HAVE BREASTS.

C'mon guys.

We're a family. And if I was in the same house as you guys, I'd throw you some Midol and tell you to stick a tampon in it. This isn't what Oasis is about- Constantly trying to figure out who you are and being upset that nobody "Gets" you. No, Oasis is here so that you find people who DO get you- And be happy about it. Make friends. Know who you are because we all accept you. This is a place of happiness and comfort and understanding and all that goodness.
Or at least, it used to be.

I'm not saying to stop being sad. I'm saying, that all this sadness is making everyone ELSE sad. Nobody's happy on here. I swear, it's like Oasis hit the Great Depression. Can you guys TRY to stay positive? Jesus. And before you guys go up in arms, I did my research- At least one person agrees with me!

Can we just stop being Myspace and start being Oasis again? Cause I really don't like the way Oasis is going anymore.

I hate to be the bitch here. But you know what? I'm tired of this. I understand you have problems. WE ALL DO. But some of them you can just figure you for yourself! Jesus!

This bitch is out- <3

Comments

funnyflyby's picture

I kind of half-agree with you...

meaning I see your point, and it is valid, but I don't completely agree.
There are still some happy posts. Just because people are going through some hard times doesn't mean that they shoudn't journal about it.
Oasis is mainly for just being honest and sharing what's going on, what's happening, etc. with people who you can 'talk' to and be understood by, sometimes more than you can be by anybody else in the world.
Maybe Oasis did hit the Great Depression, but that doesn't mean that nobody can try and find compassion here.
Even if people aren't posting positivity, the time I'm on Oasis is usually the highlight of my day. Know why? Because this is where none of us has to be afraid to share what we're thinking. This is where we can count on support more than anywhere else.
If people aren't happy, you can hardly expect them to journal about happy things.
Oasis should be here for people in all times, not just the good ones.
Yes, the forums are extremely dead, and that annoys me... nothing to really say on that.
Yes, there are a lot of new members, particularly in the last two or three weeks, and hey, all families get new members sometimes. Oasis changes as new people need to use it and others don't anymore. Though there are a LOT of recent newbies, they're just more people to get to know and accept in the Oasis family. As long as they aren't driving off the old-timer members like you, loreonpravus, Magic Fantastic, et cetera.
I know that compared to most of you, I'm still extremely new. I'm okay with that. I know I'm someone you're really annoyed with.
Does that mean I can't share my thoughts? Does that mean I can't seek comfort here?
If I picked, say, the 10 people who have been the best friends to me in the world, at least seven would be Oasians. Possibly even nine.
Oasis is for the good and bad times of the Oasians.
At least, that's my take. I've only been here, what does it say? 9 weeks 2 days?
Should I be excluded from your Oasis family?

Dracofangxxx's picture

I already disagree and I haven't read your whole thing

You have a HINT of what Oasis should be. You are too young, too early to know about the place I was talking about. So you can't really argue that this is what Oasis was about- It's different now.

Okay time to finish your comment.

You can't compare to the feeling of an Oasis family- New members are common, but the usual of us would stay for years, months- You're new, but you're in the family. You post every day, or something. You know a small hint of what I'm talking about, because you have Centerfielder and a few people. Right now I'd say the remaining of my Oasis family is Super Duck, Magic Fantastic, Swimmerguy, Elph.

Ferrets isn't even on here much anymore. I miss that guy, too.

You think new members are good, but there's a fine line between new people, and people who join for a month and leave. That's what I'm talking about. There are too many people, old and new, not staying.

Furthermore, I'm not annoyed with you- You add to the fire, but as a person, you're nice. At least your journals can have happy things in them, sometimes.

Oasis used to be a thriving, beautiful, happy place. As I said, I understand that you guys get upset but there is a simple thing to being happier- BE POSITIVE. None of you guys are being positive about your lives. If you find one thing to be happy about and just keep expanding and realize how lucky you are and be greatful, it can brighten up almost any dark day.

For reals.

-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

Bi the Book's picture

yea but you can't judge this

yea but you can't judge this on amount of time someones been on here. ive been here for a bit over 2 years and i still agree with funnyflyby. what ever happened to the love and caring that was here.? this is a place to vent feelings that people would otherwise have kept inside. i understand that things have changed, and i agree that they have changed too, but things happen for a reason. im not trying to argue with you, because i do agree with you that things are changing and people are sadder than usual, but i see that as more of a reason to lend a shoulder and help them through it rather than argue that they should be happier.

try not to regret anything...because at one point it was exactly what you wanted

Dracofangxxx's picture

Well I mean, I'm just saying we should kick up some happy

The less depressing we let ourselves get, the less we'll have to BE consoled. Instead, we'll just feel happier to be here. I think we need to just maybe appreciate things more- If you get that? Like, we don't HAVE to be HAPPIER, but being more positive can help make you feel alot happier even if you have a ton of spit going down. I think people are so concerned with themselves and their own problems that they're FORGETTING that this is a family and we're here to help everyone else first.

At least, that's how I am. I would like to help everyone and be a shoulder to lean on, but it's sort of hard if everyone's being dismal all the time. I don't mind being sad if I can just see that my friends are happy and doing well :)
-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

funnyflyby's picture

Hm...

I know what you mean about the people joining for a month and leaving- that really kind of annoys me... it seems to have been happening a lot lately... and I'm sure you guys have seen it many more times than I have, so...yeah.
Yes, I do have Centerfielder, for whom I am eternally grateful :)
I see that there are 'kick-starting the forum' operations in use... now I'll go see what that's about! Seems like a good idea to me!
Wow.woW

loreonpravus's picture

Life ebbs and flows. As

Life ebbs and flows. As such, the highs and lows come and go (ooh, that's kind of a cool unintentional rhyme) I hit cold rock-hard bottom a couple of weeks ago, and other people are probably in a low place right now.

Admittedly, the forum is rather messy right now. I remember when I first joined up I didn't really read journals, it was more of the forum, but now 90% of my time here is spent on the journals. Anyway, when I was new here, I remember wishing that the forums were more active, because I wasn't really active in the commenting department.

But you know what? At the end of the day, people are coming to Oasis for some small respite, some small satisfaction that there can be a pocket of peace in the imbroglio of their lives. They wouldn't keep coming back to intentionally throw themselves into deeper depression. Or at least I hope not.

That's where the rest of us come in. Some of the people I've seen come and go have had serious, major issues. Speaking from experience, a few words can boost them back up to a place where they're not in danger anymore. I'm not sure if this is what happened, but a long while ago there was a massive uproar because something happened to someone and people were called, and emergency... I don't know, I missed it and journals were deleted, but that's the gist of it.

There was a bit about friends floating in my head but I listened to a song, went to get some water, and then forgot. Meh.

You know what I'd kind of like to see? A shoutbox or a chatroom, something like that. For when you've got fragmented thoughts, but not enough to bother making a full journal for. Just an unrelated random thought.

Dracofangxxx's picture

I'm not saying you guys can't have sad journals :P

But, I think, people are feeding off each other- Almost like an unintentional contest. I came to Oasis because I wanted to meet more people like me, not join a self-help website. And while I agree that some had serious issues, like Tophat with his... Well, everything, I disagree that most of the problems going on right now with people are huge like that.

To be honest, I love to comfort people... To a point. I think people are starting to get the idea that Oasis is for venting- When in reality, it's for everything. Happy things, too, you know? Maybe we feel more compelled to write about sad things, but I don't pity people who are sad all the time, or annoyed. We all have tough lives, bad things, but ever since I stopped cutting, I pretty much stopped writing about most of it. Now I'm just lonely.

and I must say, when I'm lonely, I don't want to make friends with people who complain and are sad all the time on here, because that just seems like it would make me sad all the time, too.

I just want Oasis to start being a family again- More commenting, more happy, more laughs, more forum posts, more polls. More Oasis! Do I have to make T-shirts for us to buy? I'll do it, I swear ;)
-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

swimmerguy's picture

Hmmmm

I've kinda been wondering that too... But I didn't know if that was in my head or not.
I've been getting kinda annoyed about myself, because there were times where I used to comment on EVERYTHING, but now I spend so much time swimming when I do get on Oasis the strength it seems to take to lift myself up and comment on something seems too much.
I still journal, but nobody really pays attention because they're boring and confusing, not that I really care deeply about that.
But I feel kinda annoyed with myself because I don't comment much anymore. I read most things, but there is no read spot, so unless I comment no one knows I've read it.
And then I clog the forum with my useless journals.

Well, I'll try to comment on things now, even if just to let them know I read it. I'll try harder.

And also, I've noticed I don't have any real Oasis friends recently... That's depressing. But probably my fault again, I've fallen into apathy.

And I do understand your point, I wouldn't be that harsh about it, but everyone's different.
There are a lot of sad journals and general malaise around lately. I wouldn't get angry about it, but it's true that this place is getting increasingly depressing.
So when I do journal I feel bad and try to journal about either happy or at least neutral things so that maybe someone will read it and know that not everyone's having a bad time.
But I understand that people do come to Oasis so that they can vent, and I've done it plenty myself, and I no doubt will again, and I usually try to support those that need it when I'm strong so that maybe I can be suppported when I'm not.

And about the forum, I for my first week posted exclusively in the forum before discovering this is really a journal site and people don't like it when you dredge up old forum topics. Just the way the site is and has been as long as I've been here.

So, yes, I'm a witness, Oasis has gotten more depressing. And the family has sort of disintegrated. But I think this is just a time where everyone new is joining, I joined during one of these times myself, and some will stay and some won't. Then we'll find ways to integrate those that are new.
But this may be for another few months, or maybe it's already over.
Who knows.

No one escapes from life alive

Dracofangxxx's picture

Thanks, Chad.

I joined right after you did, so you know what I'm talking about better than most.
But I understand that you have swimming and that makes it hard for you to comment- So it's okay. I know that's not all your fault. Something I've noticed is that Ferrets isn't really on here as much as usual and isn't he your best Oasis friend?

So I'm sorry about that. I remember when left and right we'd make friends on Oasis, it was so easy. It's just not the same anymore. I just want it to be happier, even though I'm being bitc hy about it XD and people listen to b itchy!

But, really, thanks again. I'm glad you agree with me, and I'm happy that you know that it wasn't just in my head, either.
-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

Riku's picture

I think for a lot of us,

I think for a lot of us, this has become a space to whine or rant because we have to get it out somewhere, and we don't really have another place to do it, and I mean, being sad and being depressed are two different things. There are people here who are dealing with depression (myself included to some extent.) and depression isn't something you just "get over." :/

And I'm sorry if I sound pissy but, you've done a job of belittling people's problems. I have a low tolerance for that. Yeah, a happier tone would be nice. It'd be nice if everyone could always be flowers and rainbows and ponies. But this site is for support. People should be able to talk about how they honestly feel here without fearing being criticized over it. We're not here for your entertainment, if you don't like reading unhappy journals then don't. It's not like we sit in front of the computer and say "I'm going to write a sad journal today because I feel like getting everyone down."

This site IS about finding people who understand you and making friends, sure, but it's about a lot of things. It's also about finding people who will listen to your problems when nobody else will. It's about venting. It's about helping each other when we can. It's about dealing with love and dealing with hate. The good days and the bad days. It's about self-expression in a world that puts us down for who we are.

[/twocents]

Dracofangxxx's picture

It's okay that you disagree-

Trust me, I know what being depressed is like. I'm not saying to get over being depressed, but people should just, cheer up a little! Oasis used to be so fun :)

I'm really only trying to help. I'm sorry if I made you mad. I just want everyone to be happy- At least know that this is more than a place to vent, but a place to joke and talk and make friends. It's a lot more than venting, is all I'm saying.

But you say it's about the good days AND the bad days- and I haven't seen good days very often lately. I know spit happens, but, if we can all come together and find a reason to be happy, this whole site will be happier, if that makes sense.

But whatever. I understand, you have a different view. That's okay.
-
You are beautiful, in every single way <3

loreonpravus's picture

I'm seeing a lot of my own

I'm seeing a lot of my own opinions in Riku's post, so I second that.

Personally, the sadness I haven't really actually noticed- it was just the usual need to get things out. As far as I'm concerned, same old Oasis to me. Whatever it is I just take it in stride.

swimmerguy's picture

For some reason

I just feel the need to apologize. Not to anyone, but just to Oasis.
Okay, I'm sorry. Really sorry.
I don't know why, maybe I'm just in a delicate emotional state right now, but I don't know why I would be.
But I'm sorry, but at the same time I feel bad for saying sorry and being depressing... ugh.
I'm just... sorry.

No one escapes from life alive

Riku's picture

I mean, I've been here for

I mean, I've been here for like, five years. This isn't the first time Oasis has changed and it's won't be the last. Oasis goes through motions and the tone of the site can drastically change depending on who's active and what they're going through. It happens. *shrugs*

And I mean, that sounds nice and all, but Oasis isn't our lives. We come here and we share, and then we go back to dealing with whatever we have to deal with. It'd be great if Oasis could fix everything, and it does help, a lot. But coming here and chatting about happy things wouldn't make my problems go away. And I really don't have anywhere else to go with a lot of the things I write about here. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Also, it's winter in the northern hemisphere, there are a lot of people have seasonal depression, and even when they don't if they're around someone who does it can become a second-hand thing.

I guess what I'm saying is, Oasis changes. The way it is now isn't any more permanent than the way it was. We have our ups and downs like any family. That's okay. And it's okay if you're unhappy with the way things are going. But I don't think it's fair to expect it to change because of that.

niks121997's picture

....

Riku essentially highlighted all my thoughts, especially in terms of things changing and evolving here on Oasis. I think the context of peoples lives and writing style partially contribute to the ebbs and flows of Oasis. I am an old user (about 6 years) but have been inactive for most of that time, but I started and continue to use Oasis as an outlet for creative expression. (It's one of the reasons I infrequently post- my creativity has dwindled. The other is school dominates the time I have to comment...sadly). However, within that expression were the issues and thoughts I had/have going on, and my view of Oasis is it is a place to share, receive support, and find comfort and a sense of "it's okay- whatever is going on in my life- I will get through it with the help and love of those who care."

This has been said in some form or another already. Like any family, some members will be unhappy in their lives, unhappy with the family itself, hopeful for change, encouraging and supportive in their own ways, and I thank you for expressing your opinion on this Draco. Things have seemed down here, but the hope and optimism inherent in Oasis is invaluable for those who most need it and even those who are in a better place in their lives. Take heart though that Oasis and the community will change- in some way- as things always do.

centerfielder08's picture

I'm sorry. I'm sure I'm

I'm sorry. I'm sure I'm included in that fire you speak of.

ferrets's picture

well

im only not on cuase im in mexico right now. i dont journal much, but nothing colio hapens to me, but i love reading your guys journals, especailey yours chadlings, i like reading about your day. its nice knowing some people are deppressing blobs like me

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"

Super Duck's picture

I do think a lot of the

I do think a lot of the posts Oasis are a bit depressing right now. Sometimes I don't feel like I fit in for a variety of reasons, but mostly because I don't have anything particularly angsty going on at the moment. I mean, yes, there is some impending angst in the very near future for me, but as for the moment, the only things really bothering me are this dang kidney stone and the fact that my soup is too spicy.

It does kinda bother me, though, to see everyone all depressing all the time and stuff because there have been times in my life during which I was all depressing. It the sadness is almost contagious, really, when you see negative post after negative post after negative post...

MacAvity's picture

The way I see it:

My offline life can handle all the happy stuff. It can't handle all the bad quite as well. This is a place to vent, to ponder, to get support from people who care or who have had similar problems. This is, at least as I see it, not a place to tell everyone about how I have a classmate who runs to the front of the classroom and slaps the teacher's knee every time said teacher makes a particularly bad joke. I can tell that to my family or my offline friends/acquaintances.

There is a lot of supporting that goes on here, in the comments and such - and if that is not the deeper purpose of a family, then what is? Surely a family does not merely laugh together - a family, pure and simple, is a group of ears ready to listen, shoulders ready to take on the burdens of those who need to lean or to cry. And that is what Oasis has been to me. Happy, pleasant, and awesome? If that were my life, I wouldn't need this place; I would never have met this family.

funnyflyby's picture

*applauds*

Wow.woW

Uncertain's picture

Both sides

I love how living in GMT+13 (daylight saving) means I always end up missing big discussions like this...

Anyways, most of what I want to say have already been said. Oasis is a place to confess emotions and feelings that you can't do elsewhere, and this results in a bias. Sometimes people disappear for ages from the site and others start to worry, but my optimistic self tells me if the two different worlds (real and oasis) act as some sort of binary, they're probably enjoying themselves without problems to dump on here. Point is, keep the bad stuff on here, it's encouraging.

On the other hand, I understand what dracofang is saying, maybe it feels like there should be a balance. What Super Duck said about 'feeling left out' when there isn't any drama seems particularly relevant. While we may wish for a 'happy' place, I noticed happy posts just don't seem to get the same number or substantive sort of feedback. It's like the depressing climate eventually becomes self-fulfilling.

What others mentioned about the old members, yeah it used to be different. But difference is subjective and I want to present a different perspective. I think individual perception distorts thing. Of course there will always be a sense of nostalgia for those we once knew, but it doesn't diminish the belonging and significance this place has, especially to new members (like funyflyby, who doesn't know any of the old members, but feels equally comfortable and included regardless). My experience is that with each new wave of members, the older members may feel a little displaced and long for those we once knew and the relationships that once existed, but I suppose it just means we got to know the new members better. Furthermore, it may imply a change in the roles within the relationship. People like Pat and so on may have been a parent/supporting figure, but it may be our turn to assume some of those roles.

My final point with a bit of personal irony, people definitely will come and go. Some people eventually find support networks in real life as part of becoming more confident and coming out. Some may have learnt enough they become self sufficient and problems aren't really problems anymore. Some may even find that their problems have changed as they get older and no longer fitting for this site. While this may explain the disappearance of members, it is in no way prescriptive. I think it is important to remember that if this site has helped you through thick and thin, then maybe you should stay a little longer. Take a little and always give back a little.

Quietwarrior's picture

-

I love how living in GMT+13 (daylight saving) means I always end up missing big discussions like this...

haha same

lonewolf678's picture

yeah,

apprently i missed quite the uproar as well.

centerfielder08's picture

can we all just be

can we all just be friends?
:(
i feel responsible.

centerfielder08's picture

can we all just be

can we all just be friends?
:(
i feel responsible.

rythmn_n_rhyme_grrl's picture

Gah, I'm gone for 2 days and all hell breaks loose!

On one hand, I agree that the general tone of Oasis has changed, with the influx of new members and the loss of one's we've known for a while, it's bound to happen. We're kind of in a transition period right now, still in the process of getting to know the newer members. It's great that we have all these new faces coming in, and of course there's going to be nostalgia, but that's no excuss for bemoaning the loss of "the old Oasis."

I don't agree however that the complaining and negativity in the journals is responsible for that change. Like MacAvity said, this is a place to share our problems and difficulties, but it's also a place to share the happy things that happen to us as well. Although I may not be the most active or interesting person here, I have no plans of leaving, personally. I hope that this drama will blow over (I'm sure it will), but I don't think than anyone else (Shelby this means you) should feel obligated to leave; in my opinion that would just be dragging out the drama. We want everyone here!