A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were crossing the street...

MacAvity's picture

It's been a while since I've made a normal journal entry.... not much has been going on in my offline life, but there's been a lot of drama on here, which I, like everyone else, have no desire to continue.

My brother now has an iPod loaded with almost the entire music collection of our dad (all but what hasn't yet been converted from tape to whatever-it-is-that-iPods-play... my mind still plays tapes, not that that's especially relevant), but never plays anything on it but the Beatles. And that's fine with me - great, actually. It makes me think of Grey, who was - is - a fan of the Beatles, and thinking about her isn't painful to me anymore. My heart still belongs to her, though. And something else occurred to me a few weeks ago: I've always loved Grey even though I've always known that she never felt the same about me, but I stopped loving Leigh as soon as it sunk in that he really didn't care about me. And that means a lot to me; it assuages any doubts as to whether I actually loved Grey. For a while I feared that I might have been mistaken; now I know I was not.

The main point of this entry is that I met a real-life gajindiak today. Gaj didn't know about the word gajindiak, of course, but did identify gajself as having a gender that was neither male nor female, just didn't have a word for it. Gaj came to tell the Gay-Straight Alliance a lot of stuff about what it means to be transgender, and many of the little subcategories of transgender, and so forth, most of which I already knew and some of which disagreed with what I've previously learned. But to many of the other members of the Gay-Straight Alliance, this information was totally new, so they are now more educated, which is great. And I showed them my circle diagram of gender (it looks just like my circle diagram of sexuality), and the guest speaker liked it and asked if gaj could show it to other people in the future, so apparently my circle diagram is pretty good too. The diagram gaj had before was just a straight-line spectrum with a cloud around it, which is also good in a certain way of looking at it. And now my school's Gay-Straight Alliance knows that I'm genderqueer and that I know some things they might not about genderqueerity, which will probably make for some good discussion in future meetings. But mostly, I'm excited because I met a gajindiak in real life. Wish I could meet the gajindiak in real life.

I'm also excited because we're starting to learn about the skeletal system in class, and bones are one of my favorite things - skulls especially. There are two complete human skulls and pieces of at least four more in the classroom now, and that makes me super happy.

Oh yeah, and the National Merit Scholarship people just sent word that I'm officially a 'Finalist.' So, honor and glory accomplished, it's now up to the sponsors whether they want to give me any money. I'm pretty happy with the honor and glory, really.

So, the blonde, the brunette, and the redhead... Yes, they were crossing the street, as I was walking home, and I thought, 'That's funny. There's actually a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, walking together. I don't know whether I've ever actually seen that before.'

So, yeah. Great day.


whateversexual_llama's picture

hmm, educating people about

hmm, educating people about gender is my FAVORITE. I lectured my whole psych class on the problems with gender yesterday for like half an hour. It was great to see cis-gendered people struggling with why they identify how they identify, engaging in the questions and becoming interested.

What and where are the points on your circle spectrum? I doodled one in my bio notes that had a male sign and a female sign on either side, and a stick figure "girl" and "boy opposite each other, so each point was 90 degrees apart. It was totally inspired by your sexuality one, which I adore.

Your definition of gajindiak made me wonder if I am perhaps also a gaj due to the fact that I do not choose to gender-identify and despite the fact that I prefer female pronouns. Is gajindiak a blanket term covering the gender queer or is it more specific?
Why am I so obsessed with definitions? guhh.

MacAvity's picture


Just for you, I just went and made my gender circle diagram in computer form...

I haven't been able to pinpoint myself on it like I have on the orientation one, so that's why 'Me' is in a sort of cloudy area. Also, there's no reason at all that this one is purple and the orientation one is green.

You'll have to ask Flyby about the specifics of gajindiakness... From my understanding, a gajindiak is someone who does not identify as a male or a female and would prefer to be known as something else entirely. So I'd say that a gajindiak could fall anywhere in or on the circle except too close to the male or female ends. But the person who spoke at my school yesterday seemed to see it as more like a completely independent gender, having nothing to do with presence or absence of male and female-ness. So gaj said that gaj would probably fall outside the circle entirely, and in my mind, there isn't really any provision for outside the circle- the way I see it (and I'm eager for somebody to convince me otherwise), aspects of a person are either male or female or neutral; there are no characteristically gajindiak traits. That not everyone agrees with me on this makes me very curious to learn more.

whateversexual_llama's picture

hm... my circle tried to

hm... my circle tried to cover both performative gender and identity sex-wise:


MacAvity's picture

Okay, this is fascinating

Okay, this is fascinating and I don't understand it at all. Explanation please?

whateversexual_llama's picture

okay, so what i'm really

okay, so what i'm really focusing on here is the inherent difference between sex and gender. Sex is your parts (whether they're the parts you're born with or the parts you know you ought to have. Riku is my example here- he identifies as male despite his parts-at-birth), whereas gender is your identity and expression. (I'll be my own example for this one- while I am a female-bodied person, preferring female pronouns and ALWAYS planning on remaining female [as my sex] I don't choose to GENDER identify.)

So a male-bodied, male-identified MAN would put himself on the circumference of the circle, between MAN and MALE. A female-bodied, female-identified WOMAN would, in the same way, remain on the outside edge, between FEMALE and WOMAN.

My mtf transsexual friend, who identifies as a male woman, I'd put on the edge too- between MALE and WOMAN.

What about a person born female who identifies as a MALE and as MAN? Perhaps they would be off the MALE edge, a little closer to FEMALE, and as close to MAN as possible.

I don't choose to gender identify. Though I'm female and stay on the female half of the circle, I drift between a WOMAN identity, a MAN identity, and more often land in between.

I like this model because it also includes intersexed individuals- an intersexed man might be closest to MAN and equidistant from MALE and FEMALE.

MacAvity's picture

Clever. I like it. Mine

Clever. I like it. Mine focuses solely on identity, though one can incorporate expression or even anatomy into one's decision of where to place oneself on the graph.

whateversexual_llama's picture

i guess i consider the

i guess i consider the man/woman labels more directly correlated with identity than the female/male. interesting...