So, someone I've had my eye on for a very long time was in a relationship with another woman. This friend was obsessed with her. I've been obsessed with my friend for ages. I've basically devoted half of my time and willpower to making her happy, so it naturally angered me when she chose this other woman over me (irrational feelings). But I stuck with her, because I want what she wants. Whatever means she's happy.
Well, this woman sacked my friend, leaving my friend vulnerable and in a lot of pain. My first impulse was ''KILL THE MOTHERF*CKER!". But then I actually smiled. I was happy about it. Which made me angrier, except now at myself. My thoughts drifted towards
"She's single now, and the one thing in your way is now gone. Rejoice!".
What is wrong with me!? I love this girl and want the best for her, want her to be happy and healthy. But suddenly as soon as she is in the most pain, I am happy about it. I feel sick!
Can someone please give me some advice, or an example of what you've done in similar situations?