Oh my goodness so I have such a good story about a coming out of mine today.
I was at therapy and my therapist wanted to talk to me, which was good, because I had asked her yesterday if we could talk today. So most of the group takes place in this one room and we all stay in there. But then the therapist, we'll call her Funky because she's awesome like that, asked me to follow her to her office. So I walked with Funky to her office, closed the door, and sat down on the other side of her desk. We talked for an hour...forty-five minutes after group had already officially ended.
So I talked to Funky all about my feelings that I had never truly opened up to anyone like this, about this stuff, before. We were talking about trans stuff and I had told her I was questioning my gender before when we first met beginning of December. I didn't know, then, how much she knew about trans stuff. But she dresses in a really artsy manner so I figured she'd be cool about all this stuff. I ended up telling her "yeah, and I uh...bind.." then under my breath: "my chest." I expected her to ask what that meant, but she didn't.
She seemed to know and I was shocked. We kept talking and I said how I don't feel like I fit into any community in the sense that I talk to a cis person and I feel trans and then I talk to a trans person and feel cis. She said how its okay to be in the middle. That she's a middle person too. And I wanted to hug her and scream joyously all at the same time. I talked to her about what I would/wouldn't want about transitions and such. I talked to her about my hesitations for coming out. I even talked about how it affects me and my health and well-being. Hell, I even said that I go to this awesome website for support (meaning Oasis) and she didn't see anything wrong with it :D. <3
We talked about surgeries. About hormones. I even gave her my special rant about my longing for an Adam's apple.
It was so amazing. And part way through the conversation, Funky decides to tell me that in her paper/research that she did for her Master's degree, she did it, as she said "on Trans folk." I tried to hide my shock, but I didn't do that so well. I smiled this huge grin, and said "REALLY?!" And she said, "yeah." I was like FUCK YES.
She was so great. At one point I said to her that I didn't know if she remembered what I said to her in my intake appointment back in December (about me questioning my gender) and she said she of course remembered it and thought of it pretty much every day since.
She's so on board with it she said. She said she understands. And that she doesn't get why people can't be more accepting, that what's it matter if someone's not the heterosexual person we're all taught to be as we grow up...that its the happiness that counts. Doesn't matter if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans...etc.
And I talked about how genderstrange I am. And how some days I wake up feeling trans and other days not so much. And then she used it as an adverb (or adjective?) but instead of saying "Yeah, I get that, that some days you feel more tranny than others" (I'm glad she didn't say that), instead she said "more "TRANSY" than others."
Funky is so great. I wish everyone had someone like her to come out to.
More to say about Funky later.
Oh, that's right, she even mentioned gender-neutral pronouns. And I wanted to say "oh, you know about them?! oh I love you." But that's just because now anyone who understands my gender oddities, I feel like this sudden intense flooding feeling of DEARGOODNESS, I MUST HUG THEM AT ONCE. Haha.