questions that need answers

Bi the Book's picture

so for about a month now i have been wondering or trying to define what my personal sexuality is. its a question that i want to answer and i want to answer soon. for about 3 years now i have identified as bisexual (hence the name) but i have recently realized that i can't see myself with a guy, not do i really want to. when i fantasize about my future life and settling down and having a family, i never have imagined having a husband. it has always been a girl. so i am starting to think that i may be lesbian. i have had a crush on one guy in my life but even then i just found him attractive. not so much that i wanted to date him. i honestly don't know. and i guess that is a question that i have to ask myself but i was wondering if any of you had any advice about figuring myself out or if you've gone through this before.

i also have to think about the fact that (not that this factors in, but) i've come out to a bunch of people. i'd have to re come out and i think that in a way is harder than coming out in the first place, but that is just me. and just a question that i'm going to put out in the open...if i find some guys kind of attractive, but i could never see myself with a guy, is it still possible to be lesbian? i don't know...there are a lot of questions circulating my head right now.

advice would be much appreciated!


ladyfingers's picture

Just because you are a

Just because you are a lesbian does not mean you cant find guys attractive, just that you have no attraction to them. I find men attractive all the time, do i want to be with them? No way. Finding people attractive is human. Being attracted to someone, well that is personal.

I thought i was bi for a long time, came out to all of my friends as bi and everything but over a year or so, i slowly realized that i am not bi, i am a lesbian. Which, was a shock, no doubt about that. I didn't come out again to my friends, over time they realized that it was only girls for me and if they mentioned a guy, i would point out the girl i was busy checking out. I came out before i knew who i was and that was a mistake.

I know for a lot of people labels are important and they help you define who you are. Some people cant be labeled though. A very wise older friend said to me once "I am not gay, straight, or bi. Until i have met every man, woman and in between in the world, i can not know. Because you never know who is waiting around the corner"

My advice, just go with the flow and if you don't like guys, well, you just don't. I am sure your friends will be cool with it. Just take it slow, don't label yourself before you are ready, or you will just be even more confused :)
best of luck. x

Bi the Book's picture

thank you! this is awesome

thank you! this is awesome advice. its what i needed. thank you thank you thank you!

try not to regret anything...because at one point it was exactly what you wanted

ladyfingers's picture

:) Anytime, feel free to

:) Anytime, feel free to inbox me if you have anything else that needs advice!