i'm not exactly sure why but the BIG SECRET! that i couldn't tell people before that was making me fairly depressed was that i was switching horse barns. it was more stressful than it should have been because i knew my instructors were going to be mad but they actually took it a lot better than expected. i left on a good note and i think things are still ok between friends. i got one text from a guy i had worked with for three years which was nice. but none others so well see how things go. i love my new barn and i think it's going to be a great fit for my horse and me both. i'm so excited to see what is going to happen when my horse is training and living in a better setting. i had to do what i had to do and my friend was right...the mourning is the hardest but the result is totally worth it. there were a lot of things that i was worried about and half of them were for small reasons that i shouldn't have spent time worrying about or stressing over. so in one was a weight was lifted off my shoulders and in another way i'm just tired from stressing. i need a relax day. we'll see how tomorrow goes.
i know it may not sound like much or you are asking why it is such a big deal but i guess all i can say is that you would have to know the farm to understand why it is such a big deal. it is right though that it shouldn't be such a bid deal and its unfortunate that it was.