Super major chest dysphoria here.

centerfielder08's picture

So I've been having major dysphoria and like hating my body and all that "fun" stuff. What I don't get is that I never thought I really had a chest but now its like, I do. I wear my binder and it doesn't get me flat. Which I know, I shouldn't complain because some people can't even get binders. But what I don't understand is that on YouTube, its like there are guys with bigger chests than mine and somehow the binder binds them super well. But for me, it barely binds, if at all, really. Could I just be too flat to benefit even from an XS? Its pretty easy for me to get my binder on so I don't know if that's a bad indication even from the beginning.

Right now I just want to not see any shape there. And I don't know how to hide them. Layering bras and binding helped for a few days, maybe, but now it seems to make no difference.

Gah, sorry to be all negative, I told myself I wouldn't post negative stuff here, but I just really could use some (even cheesy) lines like "it will be okay, Eli. you're still a guy in my book" or something of the sort.

Comments

whateversexual_llama's picture

it will be okay, Eli. You've

it will be okay, Eli. You've always been a guy in my book.

sorry, that must be so much less effective since it's exactly what you told me to tell you. Still, that doesn't make it any less true.

I have no binding advice whatsoever. But remember that with body issues, sometimes you really are the only one that sees it. Be positive- the binder and your other methods are probably much more effective that you think they are. Most people aren't staring at your chest to see what it looks like.

Remember who you really are and be proud and Eli will shine through.

loreonpravus's picture

No negative stuff here?

No negative stuff here? Oasis is a explosion-source of teen (mostly) angst.

Have you ever heard of the spotlight effect? Basically, you notice yourself more than other people do. In a study, they sent a bunch of people into a room wearing an embarassing, neon coloured t-shirt. The t-shirt people thought (these stats are averages) about 90% of people noticed, when in reality it was closer to 11-18%.

Oh, and on having a bit of a chest; it means you have pecs. Super flat= super wimpy. Just saying ;)

MacAvity's picture

Hmmm...

I'm quite sure that nobody else can detect your chest. I remember you've mentioned how small it is to begin with; mine is similarly small and I can pass as completely flat if I just wear a loose shirt - no binding, no bra. What matters here is that you can detect it. For that, I'm not sure what remedy there might be. The fact that you have breasts doesn't make you any less male in my mind; try not to let it do so in yours. Sorry, that's all I can offer. And hugs. Hugs.

Riku's picture

You don't have to apologize

You don't have to apologize for writing about how you're feeling. That's the point of a journal.

I'm seconding loreonpravus about the spotlight effect. Not to mention, the angle you see your own chest from makes it look bigger than it does from the front or side. I know all about this because I spend all of forever fidgeting and adjusting over things that nobody will notice.

Plus, many cis males aren't perfectly flat, even if they're thin.

I hope you feel better soon. And you've always been a guy to me Eli. *hugs*

jeff's picture

Hmm...

I hope lack of breasts don't define a man, otherwise I'm screwed...

But the new fitness regimen kicks off next week. ;-)

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

arata13's picture

Es ist okay Eli! Eli ist ein

Es ist okay Eli! Eli ist ein Junge!~ (can't think in german yet... still too early... X.X)

"it will be okay, Eli. You've always been a guy in my book.

sorry, that must be so much less effective since it's exactly what you told me to tell you. Still, that doesn't make it any less true.

I have no binding advice whatsoever. But remember that with body issues, sometimes you really are the only one that sees it. Be positive- the binder and your other methods are probably much more effective that you think they are. Most people aren't staring at your chest to see what it looks like.

Remember who you really are and be proud and Eli will shine through.
" [/qoute]

jeff's picture

btw

I've mentioned them before, but Original Plumbing magazine is entirely for an F2M transgender audience. They are also on Facebook and have a blog, so definitely a lot to read and such there.

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

centerfielder08's picture

Hilde--^_^ eeps you're such

Hilde--^_^ eeps you're such a great best friend :)

Loreonpravus--Spotlight effect...hmm...I think that that will be my new research project. (insert evil laugh here). Oh and yes, I just am very strong in the pec muscle area. That's why I'm larger than other guys that way...I just, y'know, spend all o' my time in the gym. Naturally.

MacAvity--HUGS! And yeah, I think chests seem so much more...intimidating...looking down at them rather than how others see them straight on.

Riku--HUGS! And thanks :). You know you were my very very very first trans friend? Oh and you were the one that taught me the lingo I'd need to survive knowledably in the trans world...aka, I think I still have the private message somewhere where I asked what it meant when people talked about "T" because I doubted they meant the drink. Ahh...ignorance is bliss, no? XP

Jeff--Jeff, Jeff, Jeff...what would I do without you? <3 Hehe, and count me in on that fitness regimen, will ya? Oh and yes we can show the world that the requirement for being a man has nothing to do with a flat chest. Its what's in the head and heart. Genitalia comes way down on that list (haha, great pun right there...). I just looked up Original Plumbing. Absolutely amazing. You're nothing short of amazing, Jeff.

Arata13--^_^ eep! Thanks! and *hugs backkkkk* I love how you copied that quote from Hilde, I think its a great quote, by the way :).

Bobbie's picture

Hi

Note, there are guys with C cup chests. Just sayin'
Don't worry about looks, if someone is a good enough person, they'll see you for who you are. If they don't then sucks to be them cuz they're a ignorant person.

Smile :)
Forget peoples rude remarks
Those people are just jealous of your awesomeness!!!!