i wanna do something. i wanna help people. i don't wanna die not having done anything with my life. i just watched a short film where there was an earthquake that was coming for new york and people new about it. some people were running and some were embracing that they were going to die. it made me think. i need to do something. i want to help people. my life needs a purpose. i know i'm still young and i have the rest of my life to figure out what i want to do and how i can help people, but that is the thing. what if i died next week? what could people say that i did. "oh she was a nice girl, a good horseback rider" but what else? what could people remember me for? i want to make a difference. i't not afraid of dying, i'm afraid of dying with out having a purpose in life. i need to find something and i need to find it soon. it doesn't have to be permanent, but i have to make a difference. why would i have been here if i wasn't supposed to make a difference?
i know i take life way too much for granted. i just expect that i am going to wake up the next day or that i will safely get off my horse and be able to ride again. but what if i didn't? i could say, "oh i'll make a difference when i'm older." but what if i never get there? i want to help of make a difference now!
sorry for the mini rant. the film really made me think about this, and i basically just poured out my thoughts.