White Knight-ing

MacAvity's picture

So Shelby pointed out that I've been 'whiteknighting,' which is pretty much true. I'm not sure whether what I write here in this entry will be an attempt at an explanation or just me trying to figure it all out in my own mind.

Twice now in the very recent, I've stuck up for someone despite bitter opposition: first and most dramatically for Lone Wolf against just about everyone, now on a much smaller scale for Flyby against Shelby. If another situation arises, I might do it again. And... I just need to sort out why.

Part of it: they're my friends. I care about them and don't want to see them beaten down, and won't let them be beaten down unless I've done all I can to prevent it. That's loyalty, no? That's what a friend owes to a friend, no? Maybe I'm being too code-of-chivalry-y, but that's just the way I am - like how I always think duelling is the way to eliminate rivals. But still I feel like friend-loyalty is not my only motive...

Part of it: I genuinely believe in the causes. To explain why would probably be to reopen all the issues, which I don't want to do, but in each case, I've argued for the side I believed was right. Lone Wolf and I weren't even that good of friends before I started championing him....

Part of it: I probably just can't resist a good argument. I pretty much never win, but whenever an issue comes up and I hold an opinion strongly opposite to that of the more powerful side, I inevitably embroil. It's not my smartest tendency, but I think it's the way I am....

Part of it: I probably do enjoy wearing the sparkly white armor. I'm not proud of enjoying it, not proud at all, but I think I probably do. Mergh. But I don't need to be the one wearing the white armor - I just need to be on his side. If someone else were to take the sparkly whiteness (I'm having too much fun with this metaphor) and the banner and the lead (that's leed, not led - also, zeugma! oh yeah! I need to stop with the parentheses, my sentence is getting lost), I'd be more than content to follow em. I'd prefer it. I just can't stand by and watch injustice (or what I see, however wrongly, as injustice, and here I go again with the parentheses) go unimpeded - and this is getting me back to 'believing in the causes.' But it is related to the liking-to-feel-like-a-hero thing, because I can't stand just being a bystander. Like, you know what they say about there being no such thing as an innocent bystander. So, I need to be behind the ridiculous arrogant white banner, even if that means I have to hold said banner.

Comments

funnyflyby's picture

Well, I certainly appreciate it.

Shelby and I had a very similar debate Christmas night, when you weren't there, and I'm sure glad for you this time around.
Unrelated- Oh, good, you're still on. Your name disappeared from Users. Now both you and Eli are online. YES!
Sorry.

Anyway, yes. I agree with you as to your reasons for 'whiteknighting'. As far as Lonewolf goes, everybody else has covered all the points I wished to make so I'm going to stay out of that forum topic, which apparently has twelve new posts I need to read. The sheer number of posts on that thread shows you've gotten people thinking harder about the whole situation and that can only be a good thing.

I cannot resist arguing, either...

In any case, thank you for whiteknighting for Lonewolf and I. It's really helped, Lonewolf in general and it's helping me to not become as crushed as I was Christmas.
Thank you. :)
Wow.woW

Dracofangxxx's picture

I just think it's cowardly

If you don't let the person who's arguing fight their own battle.

There's a difference between sticking up for someone, and jumping in the way of an argument you have no part in.

That's the difference between Whiteknighting and being a good friend.

MacAvity's picture

A valid point. I can

A valid point. I can rationalise it, though (rationalise, not justify), by the argument that the person most affected may be too influenced by the very fact that ey is the person most affected by it...

Also, would you explain to me where you draw the line? What constitutes 'sticking up for someone' and what constitutes 'jumping in the way of an argument you have no part in'?

Dracofangxxx's picture

When you're the one doing all the arguing

Don't fight someone's battle FOR them... :U

It's sort of obvious. If you're the one doing all the replying and stuff, and obviously are more upset than the person it concerns, maybe you should calm down :I

rythmn_n_rhyme_grrl's picture

And there's also a

And there's also a difference between whiteknight-ing and not letting someone fight their own battle. To the degree that MacAvity is doing it, it's not obnoxious. It's idealistic and there's nothing wrong with that. Simply because MacAvity is supporting someone doesn't mean that ey isn't letting them fight their own battles or jumping into an argument that doesn't concern eir. It's like when you have a coach standing behind their boxer in the ring; they suport them, but they aren't fighting the battle for them.

funnyflyby's picture

Well, for the two examples...

(Apparently we're all using 'ey' here? Okay!)
As for cowardliness: Lonewolf left. There was no way ey could've defended eiself (?) MacAvity was in no way cowardly in 'not letting the person fight their own battle' because Lonewolf wouldn't have fought it.
As for me, I'm also still arguing against you. MacAvity didn't steal my will to debate or whatever. And if a person disagrees (or agrees!) with what you're saying ey has every right to contribute to the discussion.
Wow.woW

jeff's picture

Uhh...

Why ya writing in a Cockney accent, guv'nor?

---
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

rythmn_n_rhyme_grrl's picture

I wasn't sure what pronoun

I wasn't sure what pronoun to use and aired on the side of political correctness. kthnxbai

ferrets's picture

hmmm

i can see what your saying... but i have a gay friednd who get harrased for being flamboyant. hes not to god at standing up for himself, so i do for him. i would never see protecting him as not allowing him to stand up for himself.

"A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs, no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as humans?"