Advice would be nice (That rhymes. *chuckle*)

radiosilence95's picture

I just got back from a pleasant trip to Springfield with my friend. It did me a lot of good to get out with a friend. I can't keep shutting myself in my cave/room all weekend.

The weird thing is that my friend's dad has a crush on my mom. So if my mom and her dad got married, we would be stepsisters. An awesome possibility, yet slightly creepy and awkward.

Here's a random piece of advise: NEVER fall in love with your best friend. The I've-fallen-for-my-closest-friend-and-now-she's-ignoring-me saga continues. New information has come to me. I've been told that Amber, Best Friend Whom I Am In Love With, is ignoring me because she doesn't want to hurt me. So basically, she's being rude to be nice, if that makes any sense. This is something that will definitely pass, and I'm confident that we will stay close. It just sucks because she's hurting me by trying to avoid hurting me, you know?

While we're on this whole topic, I need some advice. I finally managed to nab Amber's number from the friend I was in Springfield with, and now I don't know what to do. I've considered texting her and asking her about what's been going on, but I don't want to piss her off. Amber's tricky. If I text her, she might lash out at me. But if I don't, I might never know why she feels like avoiding me will somehow save me from being hurt. Hmm. What a dilemma. I'm thinking I should just leave her alone and not push her, but I'm dying to text her. Bleh. Can nothing be simple?

Haha, all my friends say the way I act when I'm in love is adorable.

Here's a thought-provoking question for you: Why do we hold on to the things that hurt us?

That's a question that's been on my mind all day.


loreonpravus's picture

attempt at advice...

NEVER fall in love with your best friend.
If we could actually choose who we fell in love with that would be right up there with the commandments and whatnot.

Why do we hold on to the things that hurt us?
Maybe it's because it's all we've ever known and we would probably be very, very confused and maybe even slightly restless once all the angst from that particular situation/person/whatever has gone from our life. Well, no. Because we are utterly incapable of letting go? I'll get back to you on that one.

I'm almost in exactly the same boat as you btw, with the best friend thing. A relationship just changes once someone has unreciprocated feelings. Why? Not sure. But no matter how much someone reassures the crushing party that everything is okay (which is not the case here, it seems) something's changed- the balance of the relationship is like


holahaveamuffin18's picture

^ditto. to the Best Friend


to the Best Friend Dillema:
falling in love with your best friend is probably the biggest gay rite of passage (aside from coming out, that is).
it's inevitable. you're both close, and you mean a lot to eachother - and the fact that they're the same gender as you (usually) makes it the perfect combination. it's comfortable, y'know? their love, even if it is completely platonic, is there. and you know it. you aren't in the situation where its a complete stranger and you're just getting to know eachother as partners. you're with someone that you've known for a while, and that someone obviously cares about you. sometimes their affection gets misconstrued as attraction, and that's where the lines blur.

speaking from experience: it sucks. like, a shit ton. and there's no better way to describe it. and i went with the whole "talk to her, see how she feels about everything" route and i still got the cold shoulder. she did the same thing to me that Amber's doing to you. it took us a while to get the relationship back to the way it was before. i can't exactly tell you whether texting her or not texting her is better cuz it's up to you - it's a completely different situation, although it is reeeeaaaallly similar. but talking to her, and making everything clear, is probably going to help.

& i definitely agree with Loreonpravus about the Holding On To Things bit. it kind of goes along w/ what i was saying about crushing on your bff being comfortable.
change is something that terrifies people.

hope that helps (:

radiosilence95's picture

Why, yes. It does help.

Why, yes. It does help. Thank you dear.

loreonpravus's picture

Okay, I think my post got

Okay, I think my post got cut off at the bottom... but I don't remember what I wrote. Dammit.

radiosilence95's picture

Oh no! It could've been

Oh no! It could've been something extremely intelligent and deep!