Am I really transgendered

Meldiseus's picture

Hiya everyone so am I really trans?

Okay so I've been reading other peoples accounts of how they feel about being transgendered and how there were all these signs from back when they were kids and all this... drama? thats been going on since, how they have these intense feelings of the other sex, and they all sound so sure of themselves.

Thats the problem.

Right now when I try feeling around inside I feel two things 1. my femininity, and 2. boredom like it's old news and isn't important any more.

I have no conflicting emotions about it or my body. I know that it's the wrong shape and that parts disgust me but thats it... it's like that's that I decided what I think and that's the end of that disscusion, but when I read about others it sounds like they're at constant war with what nature gave them.
With me it's a mild disgust for a while and manage to forget about it for the rest of the day.

I can't really do anything with the childhood angle to make me dout myself anyfurther. I don't really remember most of it, Who does? What I do remember is a kid who was three things.
Distracted, emotional, and shy.

Comments

Riku's picture

Sooo.

My childhood was pretty... Boring I guess. I played with "girl toys" and "boy toys" and I didn't really think about my gender much. Most of my accounts of "oh yeah my transness showed up in all of these ways when I was little" are things I searched for and scraped up because I needed hormone treatment and surgery, and I needed to convince my therapist of such. |D; I could come up with an equally long list of ways I was feminine as a child. I wasn't really masculine or feminine as a kid. *shrugs*

How you feel about your body won't make you "more trans" or "less trans". How your childhood went won't make you "more trans" or "less trans". What makes you trans is how you self-identify; how you feel about yourself and how you see yourself. That's it. Everybody's history is different, everybody feels differently about their body and about what they want to do with it. Not all trans people want to medically transition, others need to. It's all very personal and don't ever think for a moment you're not "trans enough" because your history or the way you feel about your body doesn't match up perfectly with the stories you've read.

I think a lot of people embellish their stories a bit too, because they have the same insecurity that they aren't "trans enough." like a trans man might just leave out that he liked dresses or playing with barbies for a period, and talk more about how much he liked dinosaurs. There's a lot of pressure in the trans community to have had a childhood of obvious transness, partially because of the way we're "evaluated" when we start seeking medical treatment. But it isn't obvious with everyone, it certainly wasn't with me.

I think what's important is that you come to an understanding of who you are -now-, what that means to -you-, and what your needs are. Reading the stories of other trans people can be informative but don't judge yourself against them. :]

whateversexual_llama's picture

you know if you're trans or

you know if you're trans or not. There's no way any of us could answer that.
If I compare myself to trans people, my gender identity gets really confused. Mostly because I'm not trans, even though I meet the stereotypes.

Those stereotypes are bullshit. Don't let them affect who you are. You know.

Dracofangxxx's picture

Well...

Don't confuse being feminine with being a woman.

It's definitely not the same. I'm a masculine girl, but damn straight I'm a woman!
I'm typing this from the kitchen, after all, as it should be!
:P
But really- You can be a feminine man if you want. If you feel comfortable in your body, there's no need to take it any step further unless you really just despise being inside your body as it is. I don't think you're trans unless you feel like your body doesn't fit.

But as you know, tons of people here could be at my neck for how I feel about these subjects, so, I guess, it's only up to yourself to decide.
-
Amazingly offensive <3

Riku's picture

I am definitely not a

I am definitely not a masculine guy by any stretch of the imagination, so I agree that being feminine and being female are not the same thing... If they were I would be female, or genderqueer or something, but I am definitely male.

Being trans is separate from how masculine or feminine you are, but also separate from how you feel about your body. I don't think that somebody that does not have negative feelings about their body should change it, but just because somebody does not feel like their body doesn't "fit" doesn't mean that they don't identify with a gender different from the one assigned to them at birth.

I mean, I'm a guy and I'm okay with having a vagina, (which I posted about earlier so I figure cat's outta the bag now. :P). That doesn't make me any less male. I still identify as male just the same, I still prefer to be called by a male name and male pronouns, and it's still invalidating if people call me by female ones. How comfortable you are (or aren't) in your body doesn't dictate your gender identity any more than how masculine or feminine you are does.

elph's picture

Listen to Draco...

My advice for the day...

Dracofangxxx's picture

Love you, Elph ;)

<3
-
Amazingly offensive <3

whateversexual_llama's picture

transgendered vs.

transgendered vs. transsexual

is an important distinction, i think. you can identify as a woman without wanting to change your sex. if you don't fit into the broader definitions set forth, don't let that sway your identity.

Meldiseus's picture

Yay sorry about that I know

Yay sorry about that I know there are differences I had just already used one of them and decided to use another one but I think the one I should have used but didn't was gender-queer

Meldiseus's picture

DAMIT!!!!!!

Why did I write this STUPID POST!!!

I picked the scab
thats the only way to describe it I picked the scab.

I was doing just fine I was bored but fine and I had to pick the SCAB!!!

Now I'm confused then sad then mad then sad then angry that I can't cry and get it out of my system!!

Oh but that was yesterday now I have to keep looking around and look for a way to tick someone off so I can explode it their face even though I know that I'm to "kind" and "thoughtful" and not "aggressive" enough to really try to pick a fight, but that just leaves me with a whole lot of energy that I can't FREAKIN GET RID OF!!! (and I never swear even if that doesn't actually count as a real swear word IT COUNTS!!!)

GOODBYE
(*!_!*)

Riku's picture

I think that

sometimes it's can be good to confront your emotions.

Maybe you could cook or bake something? Kneading bread is a pretty good way to get out extra energy. Or you could scream into a pillow, or listen to loud head-banging music.

That's the kinda stuff I do when I'm frustrated. Haha. Or I rant about it online somewhere. >_>

I hope you feel better soon. If you want to talk to someone I'm here if you want.