Death & Drugs

Ask Tell Deceive's picture

This is the first time I've been sober in a while. Kids, don't do drugs, they're going to kill you and drag you to hell. I mean that. Don't.

I'm not going to tell you what I've been on, but it's been tearing me apart. I can't stop, and I feel like I've brought myself so far down that I'll never be able to crawl back up. Sometimes I feel like it would be best for me, my family, and my friends if I disappeared. All I've done for them is cause them pain and make them fear for my safety.

I'm the example of what not to do. Instead of dealing with my problems in real life I decided to drown everything in alcohol. Then, when that wasn't enough, I started injecting.

The reason this started was because I hated my body. As it went on, I realized that I hated people as much as my body. That made things worse. I met a boy who I thought could save me, but all he did was drag me down further and walk away. I started drinking and injecting even more.

I stopped for a while there, but with recent developments I've found myself falling back on my old 'friends'. My closest friend still tries to help, and when he's around I feel stronger. But I don't last long after he's gone, and he has his own life to live.

Whatever you do, don't do what I've done. The only solution I can find is to just end this cycle myself. I need to find a way out.


radiosilence95's picture

Ever consider therapy? Or

Ever consider therapy? Or perhaps rehab? I don't mean to scare you, but it's probably not gonna get any better unless you get help.

Merric's picture

I'm sorry you're having a

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I hope you can find a way to get better. The only advice I can offer is to say that you're probably stronger than you know. Keep trying.

lonewolf678's picture

You know,

The one who wouldn't want to see you disappear is YHWH. YHWH always forgives, and as YHWH forgives, maybe those who were once close to you can forgive you as well. I know someday you will find a way out of the suffering, and not through an early end.

Ask Tell Deceive's picture

Thank you

Sometimes I forget how true that is.

Uncertain's picture

Injecting is extremely

Injecting is extremely dangerous you might contract HIV.
If you do it make sure you use a clean needle and get help

Ask Tell Deceive's picture

Getting Help

I've decided that I'm going to try and stop on my own, for about one month. If I can't do that I'm going to find somewhere I can enter rehabilitation.