Have I made the right choice?

the mouse that roared's picture

So there's a very good friend of mine I've known for years. He lives halfway across the country, but he's from my state, so I see him on breaks. We've become quite close this year, and I've had a pretty big crush on him for months. He's just such a good guy and good friend, and we have so many common interests--I finally feel ready to date someone like him, someone extraordinary, with chemistry, but at the same time a stable, good person. I'm so glad I've reached this point.

The thing is, he's going abroad across the world starting right after I graduate college. He'll be gone for the year. And then he'll be back halfway across the country, in the deep South, where I don't want to live. And moving for someone is not a good plan anyways. So there isn't a chance really to try it out, or date him, or even see him regularly (platonically or romantically) for an extended period of time. This is why I simply haven't told him how I feel--because it seems so unfeasible. But today I was on everyoneisgay.com and they were talking about the importance of telling someone how you feel, even if they're about to go far away, so that they know, and so that you don't feel terrible if they start dating someone else, and to stop cowering about it.

I suppose I'm a bit cowardly about it, but I also feel like I want to be sure of my feelings after seeing him face-to-face for a bit, instead of one or two visits every few months. And it just seems ridiculous to get involved with someone at this point in both of our lives. So should I just sit on it until HE graduates, or at least until he comes back from abroad next year? That's what I've decided. Am I throwing away an opportunity, or is this a wise choice?


SydCybertronian's picture

I dunno, that's a really

I dunno, that's a really hard choice you have to make. It's my opinion that long distance relationships don't really work. Sure, there are some miracles every once in a while, but I just think you're kinda out of luck. Sorry.

BUT, if you really want to see this guy, sure, go ahead and tell him how you feel. Maybe you two can work something out. :)

dlai15's picture

I see why you want to see

I see why you want to see him face to face for a bit. It's certainly hard to pin down how you're feeling about someone who you only see once every couple months. Also because of your different interests in where you'd like to live. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer - it depends on you your situation since you know it best. But hopefully you can feel that whatever happens, whether you end up telling him or not, life still goes on and you'll recover (if it is not the outcome you desired). Just because you may have missed an opportunity now doesn't mean another one won't come along again. And just because you took a shot at telling him how you felt and it didn't work out doesn't mean you won't feel better. It's hard to say what is "right" or "wrong". Maybe the distance can work out to your advantage. It could allow for some time to think about yourself and take your mind off of the situation.

Hope that helps (: